HAUNTING TAKES A TEST Doorway To Nightmare Season 2 Episode 04

0:01 Speaker 1: When you sleep, you enter into another world. Beyond that world lies the doorway to nightmare. Come in.

0:38 Speaker 2: Welcome.

0:40 Speaker 1: I'm your host through the doorway to nightmare. Have you ever lived in a haunted house? Not the large creepy mansion that is set at the end of a dimly lit street. Just a regular home. Perhaps where you grew up and felt that there was something more than just brick and mortar.

1:05 Speaker 3: I'm never going to pass.

1:08 Speaker 4: No, Fred.

1:09 Speaker 5: You have to think positive, hon.

1:12 Speaker 2: Okay.

1:13 Speaker 3: I'm positive that I'm going to fail.

1:15 Speaker 5: Fred, you've been practicing for over a month now. You've almost got it all together, so just don't worry.

1:23 Speaker 3: But if I fail... You are not.

1:27 Speaker 4: Going to fail.

1:28 Speaker 3: But if I do, that means that I will have to leave.

1:38 Speaker 1: Our mystery drama, Haunting Takes a Test, was written especially for Doorway to Nightmare by Winslow Swan and script edited by Crimson McKenzie. Our cast includes William Stafford, Crimson McKenzie, Raymond Gibson, and Annie Mick. It is sponsored in part by Swanage Press. I'll be back shortly with Act One.

2:14 Speaker 1: Things are not going very well at 134 Willow Lane. Fred, the resident ghost, has a small problem. He is not sure how to approach his friends who invited him to stay, Stan and Dorothy Peters.

2:32 Speaker 3: I suppose you are all wondering why I invited you here tonight.

2:37 Speaker 2: Fred, it's just Dot and me.

2:40 Speaker 3: And I want to thank you all for coming.

2:43 Speaker 4: Fred, I've got things to do.

2:45 Speaker 3: I appreciate the support that all of you have shown me.

2:49 Speaker 2: Fred, get to the point.

2:52 Speaker 3: I need a favor.

2:53 Speaker 5: Well, why didn't you just ask?

2:55 Speaker 3: Well, it's kind.

2:57 Speaker 2: Of a big thing. So, a big favor as opposed to a little favor?

3:01 Speaker 4: What do you need, Fred?

3:03 Speaker 3: You know how hard I've been trying to be, well, ghostly.

3:08 Speaker 2: You're doing an outstanding job.

3:11 Speaker 3: Not according to the head office.

3:13 Speaker 4: What do you mean?

3:15 Speaker 3: I need you guys to help me be, well, more of a ghost.

3:20 Speaker 2: You're dead. I thought that pretty much qualified you.

3:23 Speaker 3: Oh, no, see, I'm an earthbound ghost. We're supposed to be scary and frightening, you know.

3:30 Speaker 2: All the things that you aren't. Right!

3:33 Speaker 4: Well, Fred, what do you want us to do? How can we help you?

3:41 Speaker 2: What Dot is trying to say is how can we help you cheat?

3:45 Speaker 3: Well, I was informed that an examiner will be here to test me.

3:51 Speaker 4: And you want us to be more afraid?

3:54 Speaker 3: Oh, that would make me the happiest ghost.

3:58 Speaker 2: In the underworld. The only problem is you can't scare your way out of a paper bag.

4:03 Speaker 5: Stan, that's not funny.

4:07 Speaker 2: So when is this examiner supposed to be here?

4:09 Speaker 4: Um, Friday.

4:11 Speaker 3: At 7.

4:11 Speaker 2: As in this Friday?

4:13 Speaker 4: Oh, Fred. That's not really going to work.

4:17 Speaker 6: But why?

4:18 Speaker 3: I can be really scary. I promise.

4:21 Speaker 4: That's the problem.

4:22 Speaker 5: Stan's boss and his wife are supposed to be here having dinner that night.

4:26 Speaker 2: And the last thing I need is for Mr. Carson and his wife to see you.

4:31 Speaker 3: Oh, but they won't be able to see me.

4:33 Speaker 1: Remember?

4:34 Speaker 3: Only the residents can see me, and that would be you guys.

4:38 Speaker 2: Yes, but they can hear all those tricks of yours.

4:42 Speaker 3: Well, maybe we can get around that.

4:45 Speaker 5: I have an idea. Why don't we entertain on the patio?

4:49 Speaker 2: A barbecue?

4:50 Speaker 5: Sure.

4:51 Speaker 4: That way Fred has the house for the spookiest of, and when he needs us.

4:56 Speaker 5: He can just give out a dog howl.

4:58 Speaker 3: That's great, Mrs.

4:59 Speaker 6: Peters.

5:00 Speaker 3: Then you can come in, act all scared, And I will be certified as a real ghost.

5:07 Speaker 2: Why do I think that this is a bad idea?

5:10 Speaker 6: Mrs.

5:18 Speaker 2: Peters, what are you doing?

5:21 Speaker 5: I'm just cleaning up a little for our guests.

5:23 Speaker 3: But the examiner thinks I live in a run-down haunted house.

5:28 Speaker 5: Fred, I can put up with a lot of things, but a filthy house I will not have.

5:34 Speaker 3: Just a little dust.

5:36 Speaker 6: No!

5:39 Speaker 3: Not even a cobweb?

5:41 Speaker 5: Absolutely not.

5:42 Speaker 4: Now, don't worry.

5:44 Speaker 5: Stan and I can act properly scared at the right time.

5:48 Speaker 3: Then why am I so nervous?

5:50 Speaker 4: There's no need to be.

5:52 Speaker 5: You've got all your ghostly tricks worked up, right?

5:56 Speaker 6: Yes.

5:57 Speaker 5: And if you need us, you just let out a dog howl.

6:01 Speaker 4: Now just stop worrying. Everything is going to be fine.

6:04 Speaker 7: Is this 134 Willow Lane?

6:12 Speaker 4: Why, yes it is.

6:14 Speaker 7: This is the home that houses Frederick Washington Davis?

6:20 Speaker 5: Um, yes.

6:22 Speaker 4: Who are you?

6:23 Speaker 2: I'm Diggerdale.

6:26 Speaker 7: I'm the examiner.

6:28 Speaker 5: Oh, but I thought you weren't supposed to be here till this evening.

6:31 Speaker 1: Yes.

6:32 Speaker 7: Well, I had a cancellation. So I chose the road death traveled.

6:40 Speaker 4: Okay, well, um, Fred's around here somewhere.

6:43 Speaker 8: If you don't mind me saying, you don't look deathly afraid.

6:50 Speaker 6: What?

6:51 Speaker 4: Oh, well, since it's still daylight, I'm okay.

6:55 Speaker 5: It's the night time that Fred, I mean, The ghost gets really active.

7:01 Speaker 1: Is that so?

7:02 Speaker 3: Oh, yes.

7:03 Speaker 5: Stan, that's my husband. And I usually sleep under the bed.

7:08 Speaker 2: Hmm.

7:09 Speaker 8: Well, since you can see me, which is highly unusual, I suppose that you can see the.

7:16 Speaker 7: Ghost as well?

7:18 Speaker 4: Practically all the time.

7:19 Speaker 5: Mrs.

7:22 Speaker 3: Peters, I did the dishes for you. And I was able to put most of them away.

7:26 Speaker 2: Um, Fred?

7:27 Speaker 3: But I couldn't find where you put the big pan.

7:30 Speaker 6: And I... Fred!

7:31 Speaker 3: And since I didn't think that you would need it tonight, I... Fred!

7:36 Speaker 4: This is Mr. Digger Dale, your examiner.

7:39 Speaker 2: What?

7:41 Speaker 6: Oh.

7:42 Speaker 2: Oh!

7:43 Speaker 5: Um.

7:45 Speaker 2: Boo?

7:46 Speaker 7: Nice try, Mr.

7:49 Speaker 8: Frederick Washington Davis. I don't think I have to see anymore.

7:54 Speaker 3: Oh, but please, I can really be scary. I can.

7:59 Speaker 7: I think that you will require more training.

8:04 Speaker 4: Fred, what does that mean?

8:09 Speaker 3: It means that I failed the test.

8:12 Speaker 6: Poor Fred.

8:22 Speaker 1: Things are not going the way that they had planned. So, what does that mean for our friendly resident ghost? We shall find out when I return with Act Two. Frederick Washington Davis has failed to impress Digger Dale, the examiner who... Dropped in to test Fred. Dorothy is now talking to Stan about what to do.

8:59 Speaker 2: So this ghost named Digger just showed up four hours early?

9:04 Speaker 3: That's right.

9:06 Speaker 5: He saw that I wasn't afraid of Fred and of course it didn't help matters that Fred had just did the dishes.

9:12 Speaker 2: Don't tell me he was wearing your little red apron.

9:16 Speaker 4: Of course he was. You know he doesn't like to get his ectoplasm wet.

9:20 Speaker 2: I could just see it. Sorry I wasn't here.

9:24 Speaker 4: Stan, it's not funny.

9:27 Speaker 5: If Fred doesn't pass this test, the examiner said something about more training. And from what Fred told me, he'd have to leave and go to some boot camp, and I don't know if he'll come back.

9:37 Speaker 2: It might do him some good.

9:39 Speaker 5: For 50 years?

9:40 Speaker 2: 50 years of boot camp?

9:42 Speaker 1: Okay.

9:43 Speaker 2: So what do you propose to do?

9:56 Speaker 4: Hi, I'm Dorothy Peters and.

9:59 Speaker 6: Not Fred again.

10:00 Speaker 4: I'm afraid so.

10:02 Speaker 6: What has he done this time?

10:04 Speaker 4: Well, he failed some sort of test.

10:06 Speaker 6: Digger showed up early again.

10:09 Speaker 4: Yes, and I don't think that it's fair. Fred wasn't at all prepared.

10:13 Speaker 6: Well, that is sort of the point.

10:15 Speaker 5: Now, come on.

10:17 Speaker 4: Can't you guys give him another chance, like a do-over?

10:20 Speaker 6: And when would you want this do-over?

10:26 Speaker 4: Tonight, in about two hours.

10:28 Speaker 6: Fred is a very special case here. If it were not for the new rules, he wouldn't have to have an exam. However, I will see what I can do.

10:42 Speaker 9: The End.

10:56 Speaker 2: Mr.

10:56 Speaker 1: Carson.

10:57 Speaker 2: Mrs. Carson. Won't you come in?

11:00 Speaker 10: Why, thank you, Stan. This is my wife, Millie.

11:03 Speaker 2: Very pleased to meet you. Let me introduce... Wait.

11:06 Speaker 9: I can feel the presence of an unknown.

11:09 Speaker 3: Is she talking about me?

11:11 Speaker 2: Yes.

11:12 Speaker 5: Yes.

11:13 Speaker 9: There are restless spirits here.

11:15 Speaker 10: Millie, will you knock it off? Forgive my wife, Stan. She sees ghosts everywhere we go.

11:22 Speaker 3: But I'm not restless.

11:24 Speaker 2: This is my wife, Dorothy.

11:26 Speaker 4: A pleasure.

11:28 Speaker 5: Well, we were going to have a little barbecue on the patio up back, if that suits you.

11:33 Speaker 9: Spirits from the other side are calling to me.

11:36 Speaker 2: Oh, brother.

11:38 Speaker 9: They want to be set free to join their brothers and sisters on the other side.

11:42 Speaker 3: Maybe she should go to the other side of the door.

11:45 Speaker 7: Fred, behave.

11:47 Speaker 10: I beg your pardon?

11:48 Speaker 2: She said, be safe. There's a loose board that I haven't been able to fix yet.

11:53 Speaker 4: Would you both like a drink?

11:54 Speaker 10: Oh, that would be splendid. Two bourbons on the rocks.

11:57 Speaker 4: Stan, I'll get the drinks. You want to show our guests to the patio?

12:02 Speaker 9: No, we should stay in here. The spirits are gathering and will show themselves. I will lead them to the white light.

12:10 Speaker 3: This girl is crack.

12:12 Speaker 10: Millie, for the hundredth time, will you please pipe down?

12:16 Speaker 5: They are here.

12:17 Speaker 3: They are here.

12:20 Speaker 10: Better make that a double for me and a cold compress for her.

12:27 Speaker 1: Can Mrs. Carson see Fred? Or are there other spirits floating about that Stan and Dot know nothing about? Perhaps we shall see when I return with Act 3. Stan and Dorothy Peters are facing two problems in one night. Digger, the examiner for Fred, is supposed to be arriving at any minute. Stan's employer, Jack Carson, and his wife, Millie, have arrived for dinner. Millie Carson is currently recovering from a faint. They are all sitting on the patio now, eating dinner.

13:16 Speaker 4: Do you feel better, Mrs. Carson?

13:18 Speaker 6: Much better, dear.

13:20 Speaker 9: Thank you. The evening air has done a world of good.

13:23 Speaker 10: You must forgive my wife. Ever since we took that ghost tour on the Queen Mary, she's been seeing them everywhere.

13:31 Speaker 9: But I do see them, Jack.

13:33 Speaker 10: Yes, but not in our bathroom or in Stan's home. Now control yourself. By the way, Mrs. Peters, wonderful dinner.

13:43 Speaker 4: Aw, thank you, Mr. Carson.

13:45 Speaker 10: And you have such a lovely home.

13:47 Speaker 2: It took some doing, but we managed, Mr. Carson.

13:50 Speaker 10: Oh, just call me Jack. After all, we are about to be partners.

13:54 Speaker 2: You mean?

13:55 Speaker 5: Oh, Stan! Your promotion?

13:58 Speaker 10: Well, only if Stan wants the job. It means a lot more work and responsibility.

14:04 Speaker 2: Oh, I definitely want the job.

14:07 Speaker 1: Jack?

14:08 Speaker 10: That's fine, my boy. I didn't know you had a dog.

14:15 Speaker 5: Oh, we said yes to dog sitting.

14:20 Speaker 4: Tape must be getting lonely. Let me grab some more wine.

14:27 Speaker 10: Wonderful girl, your wife.

14:29 Speaker 2: She really is. I was lucky to have.

14:32 Speaker 10: What was that?

14:33 Speaker 2: I'm not sure. I'll be right back.

14:39 Speaker 9: I know what it is.

14:41 Speaker 10: Please, Millie, don't say it.

14:43 Speaker 9: This house is haunted, Jack. I know it.

14:47 Speaker 1: Will you stop that?

14:49 Speaker 10: Now, Stan is a great man who someday might have my job. We don't want to lose him. And if you keep this up, he may decide to go somewhere else.

14:59 Speaker 9: If you would only let me have a seance.

15:02 Speaker 3: No.

15:03 Speaker 10: Now, that is final.

15:06 Speaker 2: Sorry, everyone. Everything's okay.

15:09 Speaker 9: Is your wife all right?

15:10 Speaker 1: Oh, yes.

15:11 Speaker 2: She's fine.

15:12 Speaker 10: Well, what was that scream?

15:14 Speaker 6: Oh... I saw a spider.

15:17 Speaker 5: Stan knows how much I hate spiders.

15:19 Speaker 9: Are you sure it wasn't a ghost?

15:21 Speaker 10: Millie, I warned you.

15:28 Speaker 5: Oh, I think I left the oven on.

15:29 Speaker 4: I'll be right back, guys.

15:34 Speaker 2: Now, Mr. Carter, about this promotion.

15:37 Speaker 1: Will there be.

15:38 Speaker 2: Um, I'll be right back.

15:44 Speaker 9: They must have a ghost.

15:46 Speaker 1: Fine.

15:47 Speaker 10: There is a ghost. Look, there's one behind you now.

15:50 Speaker 3: No, I'm not.

15:51 Speaker 9: Stop trying to scare me. I'm telling you that this young couple have a ghost.

15:58 Speaker 4: Everything's fine, everybody. Tate saved me from the spider.

16:03 Speaker 2: She really hates spiders. Knock it off.

16:08 Speaker 4: Stan, I'll go.

16:09 Speaker 2: No, you won't. I'll go this time.

16:16 Speaker 6: Now, I have had just about enough.

16:18 Speaker 2: My wife screamed twice.

16:20 Speaker 6: That should be enough to show you that.

16:22 Speaker 2: Fred is really a ghost.

16:23 Speaker 3: Are you happy?

16:26 Speaker 2: Sorry about that.

16:29 Speaker 9: Did you say something about a ghost?

16:32 Speaker 6: Uh-oh.

16:39 Speaker 10: Thank you, Mrs. Peters, for the wonderful dinner.

16:41 Speaker 6: Aw.

16:42 Speaker 4: You guys are very welcome, Mr. Carson. I hope that we can do it again soon.

16:46 Speaker 9: I'm sorry for my previous behavior. I hope that you will forgive me.

16:51 Speaker 2: Nothing to forgive.

16:52 Speaker 10: See you Monday, Mr. District Manager.

16:55 Speaker 4: I am so glad that is over.

17:01 Speaker 3: Me too.

17:02 Speaker 2: All right, Fred. I'm sorry I lost my cool.

17:05 Speaker 3: It's okay, Stan. Digger was impressed that you had lasted this long with a ghost, so he passed me.

17:13 Speaker 4: So you're here to stay?

17:14 Speaker 3: Did you have any doubts?

17:17 Speaker 2: Only several hundred.

17:18 Speaker 4: Oh, Stan. You have a promotion. We have our home.

17:23 Speaker 3: And you have me.

17:25 Speaker 1: Don't rub it in. Stan and Dorothy watch as Fred smiles before fading away into the ether. They hug and kiss each other before grabbing one last drink and heading off to bed. I shall return shortly. I'm sure that you will agree that there are many advantages to having a resident ghost living with you. One advantage that I can think of is that you are never truly alone. Or perhaps that is a disadvantage. Our cast included Crimson McKenzie, Raymond Gibson, William Stafford, Carter Sherriff, Mark Wheeler, Annie Mick, and Dave Arkupov.

18:23 Speaker 1: The entire production was under the direction of Winslow Swan. And now, a preview of our next tale.

18:34 Speaker 11: Next week we present a rather special production, a sort of play within a play. It'll give you a chance to hear what we do and go through to make these plays for your enjoyment. And it'll also give you a bit of an insight into myself, Winslow Swan, as well as Crimson McKenzie, William Stafford, and Brenna Faith. Won't you join me next week?

19:00 Speaker 1: This is your host, inviting you to return with us through the doorway to nightmare for another adventure into the world of your terrifying imagination. Until next time, slumber peacefully. Epilogue. The butler did it.