You Will Never Be Seen Again | The Perfect Escape Backfires: An Audio Drama

0:05 Speaker 1: It lies in wait amidst your dreams, where nothing is ever how it seems. It is a portal to a terrifying world beyond the doorway to nightmare. Nightmare. Come in. Welcome. I'm Artemis Black. We look at death every day. It usually comes on a plate, surrounded by vegetables and bread. For those of us who eat steak, chicken, or fish, we are only interested in the final product, never the process with which it is prepared.

1:10 Speaker 2: I didn't mean to kill him. He just, you know.

1:12 Speaker 1: He.

1:14 Speaker 2: Happened to get in the way.

1:17 Speaker 3: Gary Collins. Ten years old. Had a pretty good right arm. Could have played for the major leagues one day. But alas, another life cut short.

1:28 Speaker 2: Look, old man. I told everybody to stay down. That stupid guard tried to reach for the alarm. When I shot, well, the kid was standing right there. Now, how the hell was I supposed to.

1:40 Speaker 3: No, no, Mr. Flanders. No judgment here. I was just curious as to how it made you feel.

1:48 Speaker 2: Nothing. I didn't and still don't feel anything. Now, where are you sending me?

1:55 Speaker 3: As I told you, somewhere that no one, and I mean no one, will be able to find you.

2:06 Speaker 1: Our mystery drama, You Will Never Be Seen Again, was written especially for Doorway to Nightmare by Winslow Swan and edited by Crimson McKenzie. Our stars include Dave Arkapov and Jonathan Rosignol. I'll be back shortly with Act One.

2:22 Speaker 3: Act One.

2:38 Speaker 1: When a person commits a crime, according to these statistics, they make at least 31 mistakes that will eventually lead to their capture. With the advances in forensic science and the prevalence of video cameras, it is extremely difficult to get away with a crime. Hello?

3:08 Speaker 2: Anyone here?

3:10 Speaker 3: Welcome, sir.

3:12 Speaker 1: Welcome.

3:13 Speaker 3: Now, if you'll excuse a rather tired old expression, what can I help you with?

3:19 Speaker 2: That depends. Are you Mr. Jameson?

3:21 Speaker 3: Jonah Jameson, at your service.

3:24 Speaker 2: Then you are the guy I was told could help me.

3:28 Speaker 3: Well, now, that all depends on who bestowed upon you that bit of information.

3:33 Speaker 1: Mr. Steele.

3:34 Speaker 2: Andrew Steele.

3:36 Speaker 4: Ah, yes.

3:36 Speaker 3: Yes. Then you must be Mr. Flanders. Good of you to come around. I've been expecting you.

3:43 Speaker 2: Like I had a choice?

3:44 Speaker 3: Yes, I completely understand. The media has covered you quite well.

3:50 Speaker 2: That's why I told Steele that I need to get out of the country. My picture is literally everywhere.

3:55 Speaker 3: I've seen the accounts of your exploits. I must say, that last robbery went very wrong.

4:02 Speaker 2: That's an understatement.

4:05 Speaker 3: Not to worry, sir. Your troubles will soon be over.

4:08 Speaker 2: And you can guarantee that?

4:11 Speaker 1: Yes, sir.

4:12 Speaker 3: I've been in business for over 40 years, and not once have I ever had a complaint.

4:18 Speaker 1: Yes, sir.

4:20 Speaker 3: I can make you a full guarantee.

4:22 Speaker 1: All right.

4:23 Speaker 2: But wait. Where would I go? Everyone is looking for me.

4:28 Speaker 3: You let me worry about that.

4:30 Speaker 2: I just want to be comfortable, you know?

4:33 Speaker 3: Don't worry about a thing. I will handle all of the arrangements.

4:38 Speaker 2: Don't you even want to know where I might want to go?

4:40 Speaker 3: I just assumed that anywhere but here would suit you, but if you have a particular preference, by all means, enlighten me.

4:50 Speaker 2: To be honest, I haven't really given it much thought.

4:53 Speaker 3: Don't let it trouble you. I'm sure that your destination will suit you.

4:58 Speaker 2: You know, now that I think about it, I would like to go someplace warm, you know? Somewhere like Bermuda... or Fiji. I hear that they have great banking laws.

5:10 Speaker 3: I'm sure that something can be arranged.

5:13 Speaker 2: As long as it's not someplace cold. I can't stand the cold.

5:18 Speaker 3: Now, sir, there is a bit of unpleasant business that we need to take care of first before arrangements can be made.

5:28 Speaker 1: A catch.

5:30 Speaker 2: There's always a catch.

5:32 Speaker 3: Oh, nothing like that, Mr.

5:34 Speaker 1: Flanders.

5:35 Speaker 3: You see, my service is not free, you understand.

5:40 Speaker 1: Oh, that.

5:42 Speaker 2: Your payoff. I figured that this would not be like getting a plane or a bus ticket.

5:49 Speaker 3: Nothing like that at all. If it were that easy, I would no longer be in business.

5:55 Speaker 2: So, how much is this trip going to cost me?

5:58 Speaker 1: Now, now.

6:00 Speaker 3: No reason to be upset. I can assure you... And you will pardon me for continuing to say that you will be completely satisfied.

6:11 Speaker 2: Now look, Mr. Jameson. I'm getting tired of you dancing around.

6:16 Speaker 5: Tut, tut, Mr.

6:17 Speaker 3: Flanders. There's absolutely no need for a gun. I can assure you that all will be taken care of.

6:25 Speaker 2: Yes, but for how much?

6:28 Speaker 3: A mere pittance. Um... Only $ 750, 000. They say, whoever they are, that crime does not pay.

6:34 Speaker 1: It has been my experience that crime, no matter how petty, can cost dearly. I'll return with Act 2 shortly. Mr. Flanders, a rather dubious and unscrupulous character, has just found out how much it is going to cost him to get away from the long arm of the law.

7:31 Speaker 2: Three quarters of a million dollars? Have you lost your ever-blooming mind?

7:36 Speaker 3: As I told you... There are expenses involved.

7:40 Speaker 2: What are you trying to do? Build a new wing on this dump that you call a shop?

7:47 Speaker 3: There is, of course, an alternative.

7:49 Speaker 2: I'm almost afraid to ask.

7:53 Speaker 3: I can pour us both a nice stiff drink, toast to your health, and wish you good luck in your future endeavors.

8:03 Speaker 2: But you don't understand. I can't go anywhere. Get it? Anywhere. Every cop in this city is looking for me.

8:11 Speaker 3: So I was led to believe.

8:14 Speaker 2: Doesn't exactly leave me an alternative.

8:18 Speaker 1: All right.

8:19 Speaker 2: I'll be back tomorrow.

8:20 Speaker 3: With the money?

8:22 Speaker 1: Yes.

8:24 Speaker 2: With the money.

8:32 Speaker 3: Mr.

8:32 Speaker 1: Jameson. You about? Hello?

8:35 Speaker 2: Hello?

8:38 Speaker 3: Well, well, hello, Mr. Flanders. Very good to see you again. I trust that everything is in order.

8:46 Speaker 2: If you mean, did I get the money? Yeah, right here.

8:50 Speaker 3: Splendid.

8:51 Speaker 2: You want to count it?

8:53 Speaker 3: Oh, I don't think that will be necessary. I completely trust you.

8:58 Speaker 2: You would be the first.

8:59 Speaker 3: The best way to find out if you can trust someone is to trust them.

9:04 Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess so.

9:06 Speaker 3: A simple quote from Hemingway. Now then, the first part of our business has been concluded.

9:14 Speaker 2: Where am I going?

9:15 Speaker 3: Before we get to that bit of pleasantness, will you be truthful with me?

9:21 Speaker 2: About what?

9:23 Speaker 3: How did you feel when you killed that boy?

9:27 Speaker 2: I didn't mean to kill him. You just, you know... You happened to get in the way.

9:34 Speaker 3: Gary Collins... Ten years old. Had a pretty good right arm. Could have played for the major leagues one day. But alas, another life cut short.

9:46 Speaker 2: Look, old man, I told everybody to stay down. That stupid guard tried to reach for the alarm when I shot. Well, the kid was standing right there. Now, how the hell was I supposed to.

9:58 Speaker 3: Now, now, Mr.

9:59 Speaker 1: Flanders.

10:00 Speaker 3: No judgment here. I was just curious as to how it made you feel.

10:06 Speaker 2: Nothing. I didn't and still don't feel anything. Now, where are you sending me?

10:13 Speaker 3: As I told you, somewhere that no one, and I mean no one, We'll be able to find you.

10:26 Speaker 1: According to the National Crime Information Center, approximately 2,300 people are reported missing every day. This includes both children and adults. This does not include Americans who have vanished in other countries, individuals who disappear and are never reported, or the homeless and their children. I'll be back with Act 3. Act 3 Frank Ahern, a skip tracer, which is a term for people who find others, says that people intentionally go missing for usually two reasons, money or danger. Men usually leave because of money, and women because of danger.

11:33 Speaker 2: So, Mr. Jameson, what do I do now? I mean, you got a plane or something?

11:40 Speaker 3: All the instructions, everything that you will need is right here in this information packet. Read it carefully and follow the directions to the letter.

11:50 Speaker 2: I can't thank you enough, Mr.

11:52 Speaker 1: Jameson.

11:53 Speaker 3: You honestly didn't feel anything when you shot that young boy?

11:58 Speaker 2: Not a thing. The kid shouldn't have been in the bank. I mean, why wasn't he in school?

12:04 Speaker 3: Would it change your feelings if you knew that he was going for a cancer treatment? After his mother finished work at the bank?

12:12 Speaker 2: Not in the least. I guess I should be going.

12:15 Speaker 1: Yes, Mr.

12:16 Speaker 3: Flanders. I believe that would be the most prudent thing to do at this point. Happy journey to you, sir.

12:37 Speaker 2: This is the place, according to the directions, 20 miles away from the city in the middle of nowhere. According to these instructions, I'm supposed to just sit and wait? Wait for what?

12:53 Speaker 5: Hey!

12:54 Speaker 1: What's going on?

12:58 Speaker 2: Hey! Unlock this door!

13:03 Speaker 1: Hal?

13:05 Speaker 2: What's going on with the lights? What the hell is happening? Let me out of here!

13:11 Speaker 1: Let me out!

13:14 Speaker 2: What the? Where am I?

13:19 Speaker 5: It's about time.

13:20 Speaker 2: Who the hell are you?

13:23 Speaker 5: Well now, you look extremely healthy. Yes, that's a very good specimen.

13:32 Speaker 1: Mr.

13:33 Speaker 5: Jameson has certainly outdone himself this time. Where am I? Oh, you are in.

13:42 Speaker 1: My shop, of course. Shop?

13:48 Speaker 2: What sort of shop?

13:50 Speaker 5: You must forgive me. Your English was extremely hard for me to learn.

14:02 Speaker 2: What the hell is that?

14:03 Speaker 5: Now shut up, you. You want to run off my best customer? Yes, yes, so very happy to see you again. Oh, of course, I remember our language, but as you can see, I just got in a new shipment.

14:23 Speaker 1: Oh, really?

14:25 Speaker 5: How large of a party. Oh my, that many? Well, I do believe my latest acquisition will suit you fine.

14:38 Speaker 2: Who the hell am I? Who are you?

14:41 Speaker 3: I told you to be quiet.

14:44 Speaker 5: Yes, it is a bit on the loud side. Not to worry, I can take care of that.

14:52 Speaker 2: Where am I?

14:56 Speaker 5: You were in my... Oh, how do you say it in your language? Oh, yes, a butcher shop on a planet eight light.

15:10 Speaker 2: Years from your Earth. Oh, God, no.

15:15 Speaker 5: Now, how would you like your order?

15:18 Speaker 1: No.

15:19 Speaker 5: Well, it all depends on the meal you want prepared. Would you like us to dispatch it for you? We also brine, marinate, debone, spatchcock, or serve it whole? No! We can also separate the organ meat. I hear that it is great for a.

15:43 Speaker 5: Friday?

15:44 Speaker 1: No!

15:56 Speaker 3: Jonah Jameson speaking. Ah, Mr.

16:00 Speaker 1: Steele.

16:02 Speaker 3: How was the shipment? Excellent. Well, as I told you, I always guarantee quality. Since we made the deal with them, I've never had any complaints.

16:20 Speaker 1: Really?

16:21 Speaker 3: Well, I believe they have just walked in. Don't you worry, Mr.

16:26 Speaker 1: Steele.

16:27 Speaker 3: I will take care of everything. Well now, you must be the one that was sent by Mr.

16:35 Speaker 1: Steele.

16:36 Speaker 3: I'm Jonah Jameson at your service. Now then, don't you worry about a thing. No one, and I mean no one, will ever see you again.

16:58 Speaker 1: According to statistics, every year, almost 2 million people vanish from Earth without a single trace. If you're good at math, that makes 3 per minute. A great portion of this number is due to life expectancy or criminal reasons. But for another part of them, there is... No explanation. I'll be back shortly with a final word. Of course, our story tonight is simply a work of fiction. A rather humorous look at bad guys getting their comeuppance. Perhaps the people of Earth will attempt to do better.

18:08 Speaker 1: Our cast included Jonathan Rosignol and Dave Arkapov. The story was edited by Crimson McKenzie and directed by Winslow Swan. And now, a preview of our next tales.

18:25 Speaker 2: Twenty years?

18:27 Speaker 4: I paid for a crime I never committed. I understand, Micah.

18:33 Speaker 5: But why are you here now?

18:37 Speaker 2: Isn't it obvious, Andrew? You framed me. You put me in that hellhole.

18:42 Speaker 4: And so now you are here to murder me.

18:47 Speaker 5: Isn't that a bit overly dramatic? What's wrong with you?

18:52 Speaker 2: You should be, at the very least, afraid.

18:54 Speaker 4: There is nothing that you can do to me that would cause fear. You see, Micah, if you murder me, you would be doing me a.

19:11 Speaker 2: Favor.

19:12 Speaker 1: This is your host, Artemis Black, inviting you to return with us to the doorway tonight, Mayor. for another adventure into the terrifying world of your imagination. Until next time, slumber peacefully. Epilogue The Butler Did It