When the Spy Takes Over: A Psychological Thriller "Writer's Block"

0:05 Speaker 1: It lies in wait amidst your dreams, where nothing is ever how it seems. It is a portal to a terrifying world beyond the doorway to nightmare. Nightmare. Come in. Welcome. I'm Artemis Black. Leslie Gordon Bernard is quoted as saying, Don't expect the puppets of your mind to become the people of your story. If they are not realities in your own mind, there is no mysterious alchemy in ink and paper that that will turn wooden figures into flesh and blood.

1:09 Speaker 2: But how did you get in here?

1:12 Speaker 3: I've always been here, you moron.

1:15 Speaker 1: No, no, no.

1:16 Speaker 2: I'm sure that I locked the door when I came in.

1:18 Speaker 3: Who said anything about a door?

1:21 Speaker 2: Oh, then you broke into a window.

1:23 Speaker 3: I never said that.

1:25 Speaker 2: Then how the devil did you get into my private study?

1:30 Speaker 3: I've told you already. I've always been here.

1:38 Speaker 1: Our mystery drama, Writer's Block, was written especially for Doorway to Nightmare by Winslow Swan and edited by Crimson McKenzie. Our stars include Mick Davis and Patience Adams. I'll return shortly with Act One. Ernest Hemingway once said, When writing, a writer should create living people. People, not characters. A character is a caricature. Which, and if I may be so impertinent, The very crux of tonight's offering.

2:40 Speaker 2: Dirk held his gun close to his chest. The silencer already put into place. He could feel his heart beating heavily.

2:58 Speaker 1: As if it.

2:59 Speaker 2: Were getting ready to explode. This was the time that he felt truly alive. As a secret agent, he was faced with dangers of all sorts. But here, now, in front of the door to the apartment of his quarry, He really felt alive.

3:32 Speaker 4: He slowly pushed the door open, let his eyes adjust to the soft light.

3:49 Speaker 2: She was there, lying on the sofa, her long blonde hair falling across her shoulders. Her eyes seemed to smile at Dirk. He stepped into the room, the gun poised and ready. She smiled up at him, her long and slender body dressed in the leopard print bodysuit.

4:27 Speaker 1: Hugging her.

4:30 Speaker 2: He smiled at her and.

4:33 Speaker 4: And.

4:34 Speaker 3: And he shot her. Right between the eyes.

4:42 Speaker 2: What? No! That isn't the way I've written it.

4:49 Speaker 3: What you wrote, I wouldn't pay ten cents to read.

4:54 Speaker 1: Nope.

4:55 Speaker 3: That's the way it happened. I shot her.

4:58 Speaker 2: Who the hell are you anyway? And how did you get in here?

5:01 Speaker 3: I've always been here, Jameson. I've never left.

5:05 Speaker 2: And just how do you know my name?

5:08 Speaker 3: We go way back, you and I.

5:16 Speaker 2: Then would you mind telling me exactly who you are?

5:33 Speaker 3: The name is Dirk. Adam Dirk. And you and I have a lot to talk about.

5:39 Speaker 2: So, you see, Doctor, that's why I came here. I didn't know where else to go.

5:52 Speaker 5: Quite understandable, Mr. Jameson. So, tell me, how many books have you written?

5:57 Speaker 2: Oh, well, that would be 37 at the moment.

6:03 Speaker 5: And you are currently working on number 38?

6:06 Speaker 2: That's right. A 38 Adventures of Adam Dirk, the greatest super spy of all time. Yes, I know.

6:15 Speaker 5: I've read almost all of them. I have always wanted to write a novel. However, I can't get past the first few pages. The movies they have done so far aren't too bad either.

6:28 Speaker 2: I made sure that the contract gave me final script approval. I wouldn't have let them do it otherwise.

6:36 Speaker 5: Are you also responsible for casting?

6:40 Speaker 2: Well, I did have a list of actors I thought could carry the role. However, in answer to your question, no. I had no control over that.

6:51 Speaker 5: Well, I think the person the studio picked has done a remarkable job.

6:57 Speaker 2: Can we please get back to my problem, Dr.

7:00 Speaker 1: Gray?

7:01 Speaker 5: Writing must be quite rewarding.

7:03 Speaker 2: At the moment, not really. Now about my problem, Dr.

7:07 Speaker 1: Gray.

7:08 Speaker 5: If you prefer, you may call me Linda.

7:10 Speaker 2: Fine! Linda! And I suppose you may call me Arthur.

7:17 Speaker 5: Very good, Arthur. Although, I really don't see what the problem is.

7:22 Speaker 2: But I've told you! Adam Dirk is no longer doing what I've written him to do! You do understand how.

7:33 Speaker 1: Um.

7:34 Speaker 2: Crazy? Was that the word you were going to use?

7:38 Speaker 5: Not exactly, but since you have used it, then yes. It does sound a bit. Crazy.

7:45 Speaker 2: Oh, why do you think I came here to see you? Look, I know it sounds insane, but that is exactly what is happening to me.

7:56 Speaker 5: It's all right, Arthur. Why don't you continue with what happened last week? Ugh.

8:03 Speaker 2: I was in my study, working on Dirk's latest adventure, the girl in the leopard skin dress, when... when. But you can't shoot her!

8:17 Speaker 3: Sure I can. See? I just did. Right between the eyes. Hell of a shot, too.

8:23 Speaker 2: No, no, no, you don't understand. You can't shoot her!

8:28 Speaker 3: And why not?

8:29 Speaker 2: Because she is the one that has stolen the flash drive, the one with the secret plans, that you are... And why the hell am I explaining anything to you?

8:42 Speaker 3: Because I'm standing here asking that's why. Besides, I'm a little tired of the way you've been treating me.

8:51 Speaker 2: But you're just a character. Someone that I made up over ten years ago.

8:56 Speaker 1: Sure I am.

8:58 Speaker 3: And for ten years, I've been traveling the world, saving it from one maniac after another.

9:04 Speaker 2: And for what?

9:06 Speaker 3: Do you realize how many times I've been blown up, shot, stabbed, poisoned, and generally abused?

9:13 Speaker 2: But that is your job. A secret agent who lays his life on the line every time he goes on a mission. Yeah.

9:24 Speaker 3: Well, I'm sick of it.

9:27 Speaker 1: All of it.

9:28 Speaker 3: I want something different.

9:31 Speaker 2: And what, pray tell, would you like that is different?

9:39 Speaker 3: Oh, I don't know. Maybe meet a nice girl. Have a couple of kids. A house in the country.

9:45 Speaker 2: But that isn't you! Oh, Christ, I feel a headache coming up. Look, don't I always get you the girl in the end?

9:53 Speaker 3: Oh, sure. Right. Every time. Every book. I'm always with the girl. But then what happens? She disappears and is replaced by another girl. How many girls do I have to go through?

10:09 Speaker 2: But that's exactly the point. You are a confirmed bachelor.

10:14 Speaker 3: You mean like you? No, thank you, brother. I'm ready to settle down.

10:26 Speaker 1: Whether a character in your novel is full of bile, phlegm, blood, or plain old buffalo chips, the fire of life is in there too. As long as that character lives, said James Alexander Tom. It seems that Arthur Jameson's character has a little too much life in him. I'll return shortly with Act Two. George Orwell once said that writing a book is a horrible, exhausting struggle. One would never undertake such a thing if one were not driven on by some demon whom one can neither resist or understand.

11:29 Speaker 5: I believe I am beginning to see your predicament.

11:35 Speaker 2: Settle down. Can you imagine a secret agent with a family? It's unheard of.

11:42 Speaker 5: Oh, I don't know. Police and law enforcement agents seem to do pretty well with families.

11:48 Speaker 1: Dr.

11:48 Speaker 2: Gray, are you taking his side?

11:50 Speaker 5: I'm not taking anybody's side, because there is no side to take. We are only talking about you, Arthur.

11:58 Speaker 2: I apologize, Doctor. I didn't mean to... It's just that... Well... Dirk hit a nerve when he said that I was a confirmed bachelor like him. It kind of hurt.

12:19 Speaker 5: From every interview and article that I have read, you are indeed a confirmed single man with no intentions of marrying anyone. So why would it hurt your feelings?

12:32 Speaker 2: I suppose that perhaps one day I will meet someone, but not for a long time. And how did we come around to me again?

12:45 Speaker 5: I presume that we were always talking about you.

12:48 Speaker 1: No.

12:50 Speaker 2: We're talking about the fact that my character, my fictional character... was standing in my private study, dictating what he wanted me to have him do.

13:06 Speaker 3: In the first place, Arthur, if you don't mind me calling you that, I am no longer interested in saving the world.

13:25 Speaker 2: Why can't I wake up? That's it. That's it. I've fallen asleep. This is just a nightmare.

13:35 Speaker 3: Does this look like a dream to you?

13:40 Speaker 2: In the words of Charles Dickens, you may be an undigested bit of beef, a blob of mustard, a crumb of cheese, an undigested potato.

13:54 Speaker 3: Keep that up and I'm going to have to find another writer.

13:59 Speaker 2: Hey, be careful with that thing.

14:01 Speaker 3: Are you ready to listen to me? For a change.

14:08 Speaker 5: I must say, you have a very vivid imagination, Arthur.

14:12 Speaker 2: Imagination? Are you kidding? Would you like to come back to my place and I can show you the bullet hole?

14:21 Speaker 5: You don't actually believe.

14:23 Speaker 2: Uh-oh, the doctor. It gets worse.

14:27 Speaker 5: Perhaps you were using a gun to act out a scene and it accidentally went off. That would explain the bullet hole, wouldn't it?

14:34 Speaker 2: Dr. Gray, I'm telling you. It gets.

14:41 Speaker 1: Worse.

14:42 Speaker 5: I think that trying to commit suicide is pretty bad.

14:45 Speaker 2: Now, who said anything about suicide? The man tried to shoot me!

14:50 Speaker 5: You mean your fictional character?

14:52 Speaker 3: Yes!

14:55 Speaker 2: I don't know how Dirk suddenly came into the real world, but it happened.

15:04 Speaker 5: And you say that it gets worse?

15:06 Speaker 2: Yes. Much worse.

15:11 Speaker 3: And no more poisons.

15:13 Speaker 2: And no more poisons.

15:17 Speaker 3: You have no idea what it's like to have to throw up all the time.

15:24 Speaker 2: Look, let me get all of this written down. No more females in distress. Correct. No more secret labs or prisons.

15:39 Speaker 3: You got it.

15:42 Speaker 2: No more silly gadgets.

15:48 Speaker 3: That's right. Oh, you're doing great.

16:00 Speaker 6: And no more trying to take over the world.

16:05 Speaker 2: What?

16:05 Speaker 3: And just who are you?

16:08 Speaker 1: Dr.

16:08 Speaker 3: Doom, what are you doing here?

16:11 Speaker 6: The name is Ernest Vaughn Blackfield. I cannot stand Dr.

16:16 Speaker 1: Doom.

16:17 Speaker 2: Oh, please. Why can't I just wake up?

16:23 Speaker 3: I thought you blew up with that laboratory.

16:27 Speaker 6: I'm your archenemy, Dirk. According to that.

16:30 Speaker 1: that.

16:32 Speaker 3: writer! So what are you doing here?

16:35 Speaker 6: The same reason that you are here. There has got to be some... changes made.

16:46 Speaker 2: The End.

16:54 Speaker 1: I know nothing in the world that has as much power as a word. Sometimes I write one and look at it until it shines. Emily Dickinson, I believe, had the right idea. But the power to bring a character to life? I'll return to that three shortly. Edgar Allan Poe once said, They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream by night.

17:55 Speaker 2: Fine, Dr.

17:57 Speaker 1: Doom.

17:58 Speaker 6: Count Von Blackfield, if you don't mind.

18:02 Speaker 2: Whatever! Just tell me what your demands are.

18:08 Speaker 6: Oh, I don't know. Perhaps a small island in the Caribbean, private and secluded.

18:14 Speaker 3: Great! Another island I get to go and blow up.

18:18 Speaker 6: Who said anything about blowing it up?

18:21 Speaker 2: No!

18:22 Speaker 6: I just want to settle down, relax, perhaps work on my tan.

18:27 Speaker 2: Lunatics. Both of you are lunatics. If I wrote a book like that, no one, and I mean no one, will buy it. Let alone read it.

18:42 Speaker 3: What sort of death ray are you going to put on this island of yours, Dr. Doom?

18:48 Speaker 6: Must you call me that?

18:50 Speaker 1: No, Dirk.

18:51 Speaker 6: No death ray. No space missile.

18:54 Speaker 2: No bombs.

18:55 Speaker 6: No secret plans. Just a nice, sunny place to relax.

19:00 Speaker 1: Hmm.

19:01 Speaker 3: Sounds kind of nice. Want some company?

19:05 Speaker 2: Oh, no. No, no, no. Just a minute.

19:07 Speaker 6: No, Jameson. You wait a minute. Dirk and I are now officially retired.

19:17 Speaker 2: Retired.

19:18 Speaker 3: Come on, Doc. Let me buy you a drink.

19:21 Speaker 6: I think that would be wonderful.

19:25 Speaker 3: What about, you know, him?

19:28 Speaker 1: Who?

19:29 Speaker 2: Jameson? Well... What about me? I'm just your creator.

19:39 Speaker 6: Then sit down and start creating my.

19:42 Speaker 3: Um, you mean our.

19:44 Speaker 6: Oh yes, our island.

19:47 Speaker 3: Hey, I know a couple of dames that would just flip over living on an island.

19:53 Speaker 6: Isn't it strange that I always have pretty girls around, but never seem to be interested in them?

20:00 Speaker 3: No, they always end up with me. Come on, let's get that drink.

20:12 Speaker 1: Well, Dr.

20:13 Speaker 2: Gray, what do you think?

20:20 Speaker 5: I believe....

20:22 Speaker 2: Yes?

20:24 Speaker 5: I believe that you are crazy.

20:28 Speaker 2: I beg your pardon?

20:30 Speaker 5: I said that I believe... Oh, no, no, no.

20:33 Speaker 2: I heard what you said. But why would you say anything like that? Why not? Now see here, I came to get some help from you.

20:42 Speaker 4: Really?

20:44 Speaker 5: I thought you came here to help me.

20:47 Speaker 2: Why would I want to help you?

20:49 Speaker 5: Yep, you are definitely crazy. And frankly, a bit of a disappointment.

20:55 Speaker 2: What are you talking about?

20:58 Speaker 5: I told you earlier that I have always wanted to write a novel. But I could never get past the first few pages. You, Arthur Jameson... was a character that I was working on.

21:10 Speaker 2: I don't understand.

21:13 Speaker 5: I suppose I will just have to start all over again.

21:18 Speaker 2: No. No!

21:19 Speaker 4: No!

21:20 Speaker 2: No!

21:34 Speaker 5: Love these old typewriters. Surprised they even found one in that old thrift shop. Now, let me see. His name is Arthur Jameson, a writer of spy thrillers whose character Adam Dirk is.

21:50 Speaker 2: Are you kidding? What? Who is that?

21:58 Speaker 1: The character didn't work the first time, so you are going with the same thing?

22:04 Speaker 5: Who... who are you?

22:07 Speaker 1: Oh, I've always wanted to write one of these plays, but I wasn't sure I could come up with a good character.

22:13 Speaker 5: Now, just a darn minute. I'm the writer of this story.

22:17 Speaker 1: No, Dr. Linda Gray. You are simply a character. And one that is being deleted.

22:29 Speaker 2: No, no, no.

22:30 Speaker 3: You can't.

22:32 Speaker 5: I won't allow it.

22:34 Speaker 1: Goodbye... Dr. Grey... No!

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23:03 Speaker 1: I'll return shortly with a final word. I leave you tonight with a quote from George Bernard Shaw. Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire. You will what you imagine. And at last, you create what you will. Our cast included Robert Jackson, Nick Davis, Winslow Swan, and Patience Adams. The story was edited by Crimson McKenzie and directed by Winslow Swan. This is Artemis Black, inviting you to return with us through the doorway to nightmare for another adventure into the world of your terrifying imagination.

24:14 Speaker 1: Until next time, slumber peacefully. Epilogue.

24:22 Speaker 5: The butler did it.