When Lawn Ornaments Come Alive | "Yard Work" Audio Drama

0:00 Speaker 1: Hi, it's Crimson. If you enjoy these plays, please hit that like button. That way we know. Don't forget to subscribe and share it with all your friends.

0:23 Speaker 2: With this key, you unlock the world to your dreams. What lies beyond could be the doorway to nightmare. Nightmare

0:55 Speaker 2: Come in. Welcome. I'm your host through the doorway to nightmare. The artist Claude Monet once said, My garden is my most beautiful masterpiece. A well-cultivated garden of flowers, shrubs, and trees can be a wondrous and delightful place to spend a few cherished hours in. Well, for most of us.

1:28 Speaker 1: Naturally. You never think about me.

1:31 Speaker 3: Darling, I always think of you.

1:32 Speaker 4: Oh, yeah.

1:34 Speaker 1: Spend all your stupid time in this worthless garden. When, Stuart, when do you think of me? When you're talking to all these weeds?

1:45 Speaker 3: Please, Nora, not so loud. Negativity is very detrimental to the growth of my babies.

1:51 Speaker 1: What about my growth? What about me?

1:58 Speaker 2: Our mystery drama, Yardwork, was written especially for Doorway to Nightmare by Winslow Swan and Crimson McKenzie. Our stars include Winslow Swan, Crimson McKenzie, and Mark McClain. It is sponsored in part by Swanage Press. I'll be back shortly with Act One. If you happen to be driving through the outskirts of the town known as Barrettsville, You will notice the well-trimmed lawns, the care given to the flora and fauna of the landscape. If you happen to turn down Willow Lane, you will find one of the most magnificent gardens at number 133, owned by one Stuart Williams.

3:06 Speaker 3: Ah, and how are my babies today? I'm sure the rain last night did you a world of good. I

3:17 Speaker 3: must remember to get some of that plant food that you all seem to enjoy so much. And there she is.

3:28 Speaker 1: I thought I'd find you out here.

3:31 Speaker 5: Oh, please, Nora, not so loud.

3:34 Speaker 1: Oh, afraid you're... little babies or the neighbors might hear.

3:39 Speaker 3: My plants, they pick up on negative energy.

3:42 Speaker 1: You haven't even begun to see negative energy yet.

3:46 Speaker 2: Oh, please, Nora.

3:47 Speaker 1: Spend all your time in this stupid, stupid garden. When have you ever had time for me?

3:54 Speaker 3: My garden is my quiet place. A place to let my soul heal.

4:01 Speaker 1: And what about me, Stuart? What about my soul? You're at the office all day, and when you get home, you're out here. Don't you think you can just grow another.

4:10 Speaker 3: One of me? Maybe I could get some peace.

4:13 Speaker 1: What did you say?

4:14 Speaker 3: Oh, nothing. I said nothing.

4:17 Speaker 1: Just what are you? A big fat nothing.

4:21 Speaker 2: Nora? Nora?

4:25 Speaker 3: I'm home.

4:26 Speaker 1: Well, it's about time.

4:28 Speaker 3: I'm sorry that I'm late, but I had a few contracts to finish before I left.

4:32 Speaker 1: Oh, sure you did. I suppose you don't want dinner, do you?

4:36 Speaker 3: Oh, I had a bite at the diner.

4:38 Speaker 1: Naturally, with that redhead that you are so fond of, huh?

4:43 Speaker 3: Oh, there is no redhead. I simply got a sandwich.

4:48 Speaker 5: Now, what's for dinner?

4:50 Speaker 1: I had a steak. Your steak is still in the oven and hopefully the consistency of a leather shoe. Would you like steak sauce or shoe polish? Bon appetit!

5:10 Speaker 3: No, no, no, no, no!

5:11 Speaker 1: Stuart! I can't stop the water! What is wrong with this thing?

5:17 Speaker 2: Stuart! Stuart!

5:23 Speaker 3: And how are my precious roses today?

5:27 Speaker 2: Oh, you are looking wonderful.

5:30 Speaker 3: How about a little water for your petals?

5:33 Speaker 1: How did I know I would find you out here?

5:36 Speaker 3: Nora, what's the trouble now?

5:38 Speaker 1: The trouble? The trouble? The toilet backed up and overflowed again. Didn't I ask you to fix that two weeks ago?

5:45 Speaker 3: Yes, Nora, and I was going to fix it.

5:48 Speaker 1: Don't say it. You were going to fix it. After you piddle-powdered around in this swamp.

5:54 Speaker 3: Please, Nora, please, keep your book.

5:57 Speaker 1: And what about the living room door? It still creaks. And the washer? When were you going to leave your precious little flowers to fix the washer?

6:04 Speaker 3: Nora, I will get to it all after I.

6:08 Speaker 1: After you're done playing with your stupid little weeds, maybe this will get you out of your stupid garden.

6:15 Speaker 2: Nora!

6:16 Speaker 3: Nora, not my children! Stop it!

6:19 Speaker 1: Stop you.

6:26 Speaker 2: The actress Helen Mirren once said that gardening is always learning, that by having one, you are always learning. Stuart is learning just how much his wife detests his own garden. I'll be back shortly with Act Two. An old Chinese proverb says, he who plants a garden, plants happiness. Nora is far from happy with Stuart's obsession, as she calls it.

7:22 Speaker 3: What did you call it?

7:24 Speaker 1: An obsession! Who do you think cooks around here, cleans the house, washes your clothes? Do you think your precious flowers and trees can do all that? Admit it, steward. You are obsessed. Well, well, well. The great gardener is home early. Wait, did you get fired?

7:48 Speaker 2: No, no, no.

7:49 Speaker 3: I didn't get fired. I want you to come outside. To the garden.

7:53 Speaker 1: I've seen that weed factory already.

7:55 Speaker 3: Oh, but not like this.

8:03 Speaker 1: What is that thing?

8:07 Speaker 3: That is a statue of Friar Thomas. He was a monk who kept the gardens up at his monastery. It's hideous.

8:17 Speaker 1: It's borderline terrifying. Are you Trying to scare your weeds to death?

8:23 Speaker 3: I think it gives the garden character.

8:26 Speaker 1: He's scowling. He looks mad at some... Wait a minute.

8:31 Speaker 4: Stuart?

8:32 Speaker 3: He tended the garden so well that people came from other countries just to view the.

8:39 Speaker 1: You spent over a thousand dollars on a gazebo. Hundreds and hundreds on flipping seeds.

8:47 Speaker 2: Seeds!

8:49 Speaker 1: Not to mention all the gardening tools and food you said that your preciouses have to have. How much did this scary weird thing cost us?

9:03 Speaker 2: Oh, well, not much.

9:05 Speaker 1: How much?

9:10 Speaker 3: It was really a steal at.

9:14 Speaker 2: Seven.

9:15 Speaker 1: Hundred? Seven hundred dollars? Are you mad? Please, please tell me you're just joking.

9:22 Speaker 3: There's a new stone and sculpture shop that opened last week. I was supporting our local business.

9:29 Speaker 1: They make gravestones! Stuart, what is wrong with you?

9:33 Speaker 3: But look how it makes the garden so much more.

9:38 Speaker 1: Grotesque? Outrageous? Terrifyingly horrible than it already is?

9:43 Speaker 3: I was thinking... stately.

9:47 Speaker 1: Return it. Get my money back.

9:51 Speaker 2: Oh, but Nora, please.

9:53 Speaker 1: I want that thing off my property.

9:57 Speaker 3: Oh, please. It really makes the garden.

10:00 Speaker 1: you are lucky that I even allow you to have this infestation of weeds don't you forget Stuart this is all my property my money that lets you pitter patter about in the yard every weekend yes dear Take it back. I want it out of here immediately. I can't believe he would do such a thing. Naturally, he puts it right in front of the living room window. God, what a horrid... Wait a minute.

10:38 Speaker 3: Stuart!

10:39 Speaker 1: Stuart!

10:40 Speaker 3: Stuart!

10:41 Speaker 2: Yes, yes, Nora?

10:43 Speaker 1: Did you move that monstrosity closer to the house?

10:46 Speaker 3: It weighs more than 200 pounds. They brought it in on a dolly with three rather large men to put it into place. Besides, I've been in my study working on a case file.

11:01 Speaker 1: Then please explain to me how it got there.

11:06 Speaker 3: Oh, well, that's funny. I had them place it in the center of the garden.

11:11 Speaker 1: And now it's practically looking into our living room window?

11:17 Speaker 2: Statues and sculptures represent many aspects of our society. They serve as reminders of what was, what is, and what could be. Let me remind you to return for Act Three.

11:52 Speaker 2: Michelangelo once said that every block of stone has a statue inside of it. It is up to the sculptor to discover it.

12:04 Speaker 1: Another night. Another dinner. Ruined. Why did I ever marry such a.

12:11 Speaker 2: Why?

12:11 Speaker 1: It's gone. The monstrosity is gone? Hello?

12:19 Speaker 3: Oh, I'm very dreadfully, terribly sorry, darling.

12:23 Speaker 1: Oh, you. Thank you.

12:26 Speaker 3: Well, you are welcome, I think.

12:30 Speaker 1: You know what you did. And I honestly appreciate it. I really do. You know, sometimes you can drive me straight up the wall. But for some unknown reason, I married you. And in my own way, I do love you.

12:45 Speaker 3: Well, Nora, I love you as well. Now, will you please tell me what I did?

12:54 Speaker 1: I know I can be hard to live with, but, well, seeing that monster statue gone really shows me that you can do what I tell you. And that will make it so much better here. Nora, please listen. Now, just get rid of that ugly garden. Nora!

13:09 Speaker 3: Nora! I only called to tell you that I am working late and won't be home until midnight. As for getting rid of the statue, I haven't touched it. I'm sorry, but I have yet to call the mason works to come out and pick it up. So, what are you talking about?

13:35 Speaker 1: But it is gone. It's not in the garden.

13:39 Speaker 3: Oh, Nora, stop it.

13:41 Speaker 1: You're just freaking yourself out. What is that? The statue? It's standing at the kitchen window. No, no, no, no, no!

14:00 Speaker 1: Where did you go? I know you're out here! I know I saw it by the wind.

14:14 Speaker 1: What are you doing in here?

14:15 Speaker 3: How did you. No!

14:19 Speaker 1: Stop moving! It's impossible! Stop it! Get away from me!

14:23 Speaker 3: No!

14:24 Speaker 2: No!

14:25 Speaker 3: No!

14:28 Speaker 1: Oh, my chest! I can't breathe! It hurts!

14:42 Speaker 3: No! Detective, what happened?

14:55 Speaker 4: Heart attack. Pure and simple. I'm sorry for your loss.

15:02 Speaker 3: She did have a heart condition. I tried to get her to do something about it many times. She was just so stubborn.

15:12 Speaker 2: I understand.

15:14 Speaker 4: Something definitely frightened her.

15:17 Speaker 3: Why do you say that?

15:19 Speaker 4: The look on her face. Heart failure? Yes. But something froze her face like that. That is the look of pure terror.

15:30 Speaker 3: I wonder what it could have been. Well.

15:33 Speaker 4: Looking at that garden and that statue out there, that's enough.

15:36 Speaker 5: To scare anyone.

15:38 Speaker 3: Please, detective, you don't really believe that a piece of stone could have caused her to die from a heart attack, do you?

15:47 Speaker 4: No, but something sure did.

15:49 Speaker 5: Hello, hello, hello, my pretties.

16:00 Speaker 3: You are looking wonderful today. Getting enough sunlight? Oh, I must remember to order those seeds I saw in the catalog yesterday. Yes, my dears, you no longer need worry about the yelling and the screaming from Nora. Well, our good friend Friar Thomas took care of that. Well, a replica anyway. Isn't it amazing? What a bit of Styrofoam and some fishing line can do to someone with a heart condition?

16:40 Speaker 4: Stuart looks up at.

16:41 Speaker 3: The statue and smiles.

16:59 Speaker 2: He gathers his gardening tools and takes them to the shed, where another statue, made from styrofoam, stands in the corner. I'll be back shortly. Is it possible to be scared to death? According to science, the release of adrenaline during a stressful situation can cause damage to the heart, even death. It is rare, but it does happen. Our cast included Winslow Swan, Crimson McKenzie, and Mark McClain. The story was written by Winslow Swan and Crimson McKenzie, and the entire production was under the direction of Winslow Swan.

18:07 Speaker 5: Hi, this is Winslow Swan, and here we are at the end of Season 3, something that I thought would never actually happen. I could have never put this series together without the help of some very special people, let alone do three seasons. We made a few changes, and we welcome back a voice actor who really knows how to capture his character. First and foremost, I must thank Crimson McKenzie, who believed in this series right from the start, and who pushes me to do better with each episode. She is my muse, co-writer, editor, and a wonderful friend.

18:46 Speaker 5: I would also like to give a special thank you to Carter Sheriff, who filmed our new opening, and who has also participated in some of the plays. We are thankful also to welcome back Mark McClain this season, and we hope to hear from him many more times. So with that, thank you again to the voice talents of William Stafford, Mark Wheeler, Raven Adams, Annie Mick, Mark McClain, Dave Arkapov, Ezra J.D. Emmons, Brenna Faith, Robert Jackson, Carter Sheriff, and Crimson McKenzie. And thank you to everyone, and especially you, the ones who listen and support us, the ones who dare to step through the Doorway to Nightmare.

19:35 Speaker 5: We're working on Season 4, and we can't wait to see you there.

19:41 Speaker 2: Doorway to Nightmare was brought to you in part by Swanage Press. This is your host inviting you to return with us through the Doorway to Nightmare for another adventure into the world of your terrifying imagination. Until next time, slumber peacefully. Epilogue The butler did it.