Red Hat Society: A Sinister Small-Town Sisterhood Mystery

0:01 Speaker 1: When you sleep, you enter into another world. Beyond that world lies the doorway to nightmare. Come in. Welcome. I'm your host for the Doorway to Nightmare. I long, as does every human being, to be at home wherever I find myself. So wrote Maya Angelou, American poet. Another quote that pertains to our story would be, Home is where you hang your hat. To be at home, for me, would mean to belong to something, to be a part of something special.

1:14 Speaker 2: You say your husband is in real estate? I would think that he would want to live in the subdivision that he is trying to sell.

1:20 Speaker 3: Oh, he found the house that we live in now before we moved. He decided it would be just the perfect place to raise a family.

1:30 Speaker 4: So he decided.

1:33 Speaker 5: Yes.

1:34 Speaker 3: He makes most of all the important decisions.

1:39 Speaker 6: My late husband, rest his soul, made all of the decisions in our household. I raised two fine young men, both in the military and kept the house in order. Oh, it was such a shame that he had that car accident.

1:50 Speaker 1: I remember it well.

1:52 Speaker 7: Something about the brakes.

1:54 Speaker 6: Oh, but it was a lovely funeral. Rest his soul.

2:02 Speaker 1: Our mystery drama, The Red Hat Society, was adapted from the short story and written especially for Doorway to Nightmare by Winslow Swan and stars Crimson McKenzie and Annie Mick. It is sponsored in part by Swanage Press. I'll be back shortly. with Act One. Moving to a new location can be somewhat traumatic to most people. There is, of course, finding a place to live, getting to know people, and the simple task of fitting in.

2:53 Speaker 4: Why, yes, I have two little kittens. Oh, I love lasagna. Oh, I like to eat.

3:04 Speaker 3: I can't stand gum cheese.

3:05 Speaker 8: And I'm the Widow Nix.

3:07 Speaker 9: Very pleased to have you here.

3:22 Speaker 8: Ladies, ladies, I now call this meeting of the Red Hat Society to order. Let's begin with the Widow Terrence reading the minutes from our last meeting.

3:33 Speaker 2: At our last meeting, we discussed the bake sale that raised a little over $ 300 for the new music room at the high school. Widow Nix suggested a haunted house Halloween party as a possible fundraiser to be held this October for the Veterans Fund. The motion was carried and the Widow Nix was named as chairman for that committee. That was the only new business that was discussed, and we adjourned the meeting.

3:55 Speaker 8: Thank you, Widow Terrence. Now, before we open the floor for any new business, I would like to introduce a special guest, Mrs. Laura Daniels.

4:06 Speaker 3: Oh, please. That's not necessary. I'm thankful you invited me to come, Mrs.

4:12 Speaker 5: Dale.

4:13 Speaker 8: She's been my next-door neighbor for the last six months.

4:16 Speaker 7: Oh, did you buy the old field place?

4:19 Speaker 5: Yes.

4:20 Speaker 3: It's a little larger than what I wanted, but my husband insisted.

4:25 Speaker 6: Do you have any children?

4:27 Speaker 3: Not yet. My husband wants a large family. I would settle for one healthy child.

4:36 Speaker 10: Children are overrated. They're all born defective. As children.

4:41 Speaker 9: Would it not be more expedient coming out as 18-year-olds and knowing everything?

4:46 Speaker 7: Teenagers already know everything.

4:49 Speaker 8: Now, before we overwhelm our guest, why don't we introduce ourselves? Of course, you know me, the Widow Dale.

4:58 Speaker 5: Oh, dear.

4:58 Speaker 2: Well, I'm Widow Terrence, the secretary, although I don't know why. I'm the Widow Johns.

5:05 Speaker 7: I'm the Widow Stiles.

5:07 Speaker 4: And I'm the Widow Nix, very pleased to have you here.

5:12 Speaker 10: I'm the Widow Adams. Thank God.

5:15 Speaker 8: All right, ladies, let's get on with our meetings.

5:24 Speaker 3: It was nice to be out of the house for a change. And it was true. I did want to have a baby. I wanted a family just as much as Stephen did. Even on our wedding night, with me trying for my master's degree, all he could talk about was a large family.

5:45 Speaker 11: I thought we might start with a boy and a girl. Then perhaps a set of twins.

5:50 Speaker 3: Oh my goodness! You really want my hands full.

5:55 Speaker 11: Eventually, we will have our own baseball team.

5:58 Speaker 3: I love you.

5:59 Speaker 11: I love you, too.

6:03 Speaker 3: After a year of trying, we've not had any success. Only a year married, and I begin to notice the change in Stephen.

6:13 Speaker 11: Perhaps you should go and see a doctor.

6:16 Speaker 3: I've been to the doctor, Stephen. He said that I should have became pregnant on our wedding night. He suggested that maybe you should come get tested.

6:26 Speaker 11: Are you saying that there is something wrong with me?

6:29 Speaker 8: No, of course not.

6:31 Speaker 11: Then perhaps you should go and see another doctor. It won't hurt to get a second opinion. Doctors can be wrong.

6:38 Speaker 5: You know.

6:39 Speaker 2: Are you alright, dear?

6:40 Speaker 3: What?

6:41 Speaker 5: Ow!

6:42 Speaker 3: I'm sorry. I guess my mind wandered a little.

6:46 Speaker 2: That is quite alright, dear. My mind does a little wandering sometimes. I really don't know why I was voted to be secretary.

6:53 Speaker 10: No one else wanted the job, and you have the best handwriting.

6:58 Speaker 2: What I asked you, dear, was how do you and your husband like river corners?

7:02 Speaker 3: Oh, it's very nice.

7:04 Speaker 10: Boring, you mean.

7:06 Speaker 8: Now, Widow Adams, while we may not be in New York or Atlanta, we do have our good points. The park is quite nice, and we do have the occasional concerts that our wonderful Arts Council provides.

7:20 Speaker 9: Only if you like country and classical music. We certainly are a mecca of entertainment.

7:28 Speaker 7: I did manage to go to the new movie theater. It was very lovely, with reclining seats and cup holders, and the picture and sound were superb. What was the picture? I really don't know. I think that I fell asleep in the reclining seat.

7:43 Speaker 4: What does your husband do, Mrs. Daniels?

7:46 Speaker 3: He's in real estate. He wanted to open his own office and acquired the contract to that new subdivision.

7:53 Speaker 8: Oh, yes, that lovely place. Gated community, tennis courts, swimming pool, a private lake.

8:01 Speaker 9: Land taxes out the ass, monthly community dues, no maintenance, and a guardhouse with a so-called security suite.

8:09 Speaker 10: Oh, yes, sounds like a fine place.

8:12 Speaker 2: I would think that your husband would want to live there.

8:14 Speaker 3: Oh, he found the house where we are at now. He decided that it would be perfect to raise a family in.

8:22 Speaker 7: So he decided?

8:26 Speaker 3: Yes.

8:27 Speaker 6: My last husband, rest his soul, made all of our family decisions. I raised two fine young men, both in the military, and kept the household. It's a shame that he died in that car accident.

8:40 Speaker 7: I remember now. Something about his brakes going out?

8:44 Speaker 6: It was a lovely funeral, rest his soul.

8:47 Speaker 5: Laura, you home?

8:58 Speaker 12: In here.

8:59 Speaker 11: I have a surprise for you.

9:01 Speaker 3: Oh, I have one for you as well.

9:03 Speaker 11: We are moving to River's Corner.

9:05 Speaker 1: Where?

9:06 Speaker 11: Oh, you are going to love it. Plenty of fresh air, lots of things to do, and the best part, I have already found a house.

9:14 Speaker 3: Um, Steven? I wonder if we could talk about it first.

9:19 Speaker 11: Nothing to talk about. I have already arranged everything. The closing papers were signed, and I thought it would take at least a month to pack everything. That's when the movers will come. Next month.

9:29 Speaker 3: It's... Just that this has come as a surprise.

9:33 Speaker 11: Well, of course it has. You know I love to surprise my beautiful wife and the future mother of our children. I also understand that there is a doctor who is somewhat of a genius. Perhaps he can tell you why you can't get pregnant.

9:59 Speaker 3: I was overwhelmed. Stephen didn't even want to hear my news. I looked at the letter that I had received just that morning. With my Master's in Forensic Science, I had been offered the job as head of the department for the local sheriff's office. An impressive salary. My own department? my own office, all of it slipping away. I saw my degree gathering dust in a box in some small town that I'd never even heard of, two billion miles away from the nearest forensic lab, and I hated him for it.

10:40 Speaker 1: Albert Einstein once said, if you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or objects. It seems that Laura has unwillingly tied herself to her husband. Perhaps the ladies of the Red Hat Society can help her untangle the knot. I'll be back with Act Two shortly.

11:05 Speaker 12: Act Two.

11:21 Speaker 1: Stephen and Laura Daniels have recently moved to the small town of Rivers Corner. Stephen wants a large family. However, Laura has not been able to conceive, even though there is nothing wrong with her physically, according to the many doctors that she has seen. Her neighbor, the widow Dale, has invited her to join the Red Hat Society.

11:45 Speaker 6: So tell us, Laura, has your husband been doing well in his real estate business?

11:50 Speaker 3: So far, he has not sold the first house in the six months we've been here. Things are getting pretty tight.

11:58 Speaker 2: Are you employed, dear?

12:01 Speaker 3: Oh, my husband would rather I not work.

12:03 Speaker 9: Oh, that was what my husband told me, rest his soul. He thought that the woman's place was in the home. Not for me, mind you. I built up my own business and damn whatever he had to say.

12:19 Speaker 4: You do make the best cupcakes, dear.

12:23 Speaker 9: Oh, I suppose that he was still trapped in those societal rules that he had seen as a child. Rest his soul.

12:31 Speaker 3: What happened to him?

12:33 Speaker 10: Fell off the roof, slipped on the ladder and broke his neck.

12:37 Speaker 9: Rest his soul. It was a terrible accident, but these things do happen.

12:43 Speaker 7: It was a lovely funeral. Rest his soul.

12:47 Speaker 4: At least it was over quick for him. My poor Harry, rest his soul, burned alive when the house caught fire. They said it was a faulty gas line, and you know how he loved his cigars.

13:02 Speaker 3: So, you really are all widows.

13:06 Speaker 10: So why do you think we call each other that, girl?

13:09 Speaker 8: You see, my dear, I started this society three years ago. I was lonely after my dear William, rest his soul, passed away two years ago. There I was in that lonely old house with my pension and a hefty life insurance policy. I decided that there must be other lonely women in this town with the same problem, so I began contacting certain ladies who might want to have a monthly luncheon and perhaps help each other.

13:38 Speaker 3: I'm so sorry about your husband.

13:42 Speaker 8: My husband was a complete narcissistic know-it-all, royal pain in the lower region. I also threw a party when he passed. Rest his soul.

13:55 Speaker 3: If you don't mind me asking, how did he die?

14:00 Speaker 8: Fell into the lake while he was trying to catch the big one. I tried to warn him not to wear those slick shoes. Rest his soul.

14:09 Speaker 7: It was such a lovely funeral. I so wish that my Richard had a lovely funeral. Rest his soul.

14:16 Speaker 2: We had that memorial service for him, remember? I'm sure that he would have appreciated it. Rest his soul.

14:22 Speaker 9: Oh, you can't have a proper funeral without a body. Besides, the explosion took care of that.

14:30 Speaker 3: Explosion?

14:31 Speaker 7: It was a most tragic accident. Someone had taken some dynamite and.

14:36 Speaker 10: Martha!

14:37 Speaker 3: Oh, yes.

14:38 Speaker 7: There was a ruptured gas line in the car. My poor Richard turned the key and that was the end of that. Rest his soul.

14:45 Speaker 3: Widow Terrence, did your husband die in an accident as well?

14:50 Speaker 2: Oh, heavens no, dear. He passed after a rather short battle with cancer. He was in so much pain. Rest his soul.

14:59 Speaker 4: Tell us more about your dear Stephen.

15:02 Speaker 3: There really isn't any more to tell. He loves me. He provides a good home and It's very caring. He really does love me in his own way. Will you excuse me? I thought that.

15:26 Speaker 8: I might find you in the ladies' room.

15:29 Speaker 3: There, there, dear.

15:30 Speaker 8: There isn't anything to get upset over.

15:33 Speaker 3: I'm so sorry. You've been so nice to invite me to your luncheon, and here I am with morbid curiosity about your husband, and I don't even own a red hat.

15:49 Speaker 8: Oh, my dear girl, I have absolutely nothing to be sorry about. I brought you here for a specific reason. I wanted to show you that you are not alone. We help each other out.

16:04 Speaker 3: What made you think that I needed any help?

16:08 Speaker 8: I have lived next door to you ever since you arrived. You don't think I know.

16:14 Speaker 2: You need some help?

16:15 Speaker 3: I still don't know what you mean.

16:17 Speaker 8: Here, dry your tears. I think I know a good candidate for the Red Hat Society. When I see one.

16:38 Speaker 1: I am getting the distinct impression that River's Corner is not the healthiest place to be, if you are a married man. There seems to be an awful lot of accidents going on in this small community, perhaps more than even Laura knows of. I shall return shortly with Act Three.

17:13 Speaker 1: Six elderly ladies have formed what they call the Red Hat Society. Each of them are widows. Each of them, once a month, dress in their finest garments and don a dark red hat. They meet in the back room of a local restaurant to discuss potential fundraisers and helping each other out. Laura Daniels has been invited to their meeting, but what are the ladies' motives?

17:48 Speaker 2: Is everything all right?

17:50 Speaker 8: Yes, everything is fine. Laura just needed a moment to herself.

17:55 Speaker 3: I'm fine now.

17:57 Speaker 4: Splendid. We were all a little worried.

18:00 Speaker 3: No, it's okay.

18:02 Speaker 8: Shall we continue?

18:03 Speaker 2: I have a question.

18:04 Speaker 8: The chair recognizes the widow Terrence.

18:08 Speaker 2: Laura, has your dear Stephen made sure that you were taken care of?

18:11 Speaker 3: I'm not quite sure what you mean.

18:14 Speaker 2: Well, oh, how do I put this delicately? In the event that you found yourself facing the world on your own, has your dear husband provided for you?

18:27 Speaker 9: Oh, for Christ's sake, does your old man have a life insurance policy?

18:32 Speaker 3: Oh, yes, we both do. That was another decision that Stephen made very early in our marriage. He said that it was the best thing to do, and it would help when we had children.

18:45 Speaker 4: Which you don't have yet.

18:54 Speaker 3: It was all Stephen ever talked about. Having children. It began to grate on my nerves every time that he brought it up. A week after we moved to River's Corner, he started it all over again.

19:13 Speaker 11: Good morning. How is my future mom-to-be?

19:16 Speaker 3: I'm fine.

19:17 Speaker 10: Coffee?

19:18 Speaker 11: Yes, that would be wonderful.

19:21 Speaker 1: Oh, by the way.

19:22 Speaker 11: You have a doctor's appointment this afternoon.

19:24 Speaker 3: I haven't made any appointment with a doctor.

19:28 Speaker 11: I already took care of that for you. You know, about your little problem.

19:33 Speaker 3: Oh. Is he going to test both of us?

19:37 Speaker 11: Now, I thought we had already discussed that matter.

19:42 Speaker 3: Yes, Stephen, you're right.

19:44 Speaker 11: I have told you that there isn't anything wrong with me. I am in perfect health.

19:50 Speaker 3: Yes, Steven.

19:51 Speaker 11: Which would logically mean that the problem lies somewhere within you. Now, do I have to make you understand that yet again? You know how much I hate to help you to understand.

20:02 Speaker 3: No, Steven. I understand.

20:05 Speaker 11: Frankly, I would have thought that the last time would have been enough understanding.

20:10 Speaker 3: I do, Stephen. I really understand.

20:13 Speaker 11: What exactly do you understand?

20:17 Speaker 3: That I need to go see a doctor.

20:21 Speaker 11: Well then, that is settled. I will pick you up for the appointment this afternoon.

20:30 Speaker 8: Ladies, I do believe that it is time that we come to a decision.

20:36 Speaker 1: Laura.

20:37 Speaker 8: Would you please wait outside for just a moment while we discuss some personal society business?

20:53 Speaker 5: Laura.

20:54 Speaker 12: Stephen.

20:55 Speaker 3: What are you doing here?

20:57 Speaker 11: Quite obviously having lunch. Did you call that other specialist yet?

21:01 Speaker 3: I was going to this afternoon.

21:03 Speaker 11: Must I do everything myself?

21:05 Speaker 3: Please, Stephen, not in public.

21:07 Speaker 11: I can't speak to my own wife in public?

21:10 Speaker 3: Please, just lower your voice.

21:13 Speaker 11: I will call the doctor for you, yet again, and I expect you to be home when I arrive. Do you understand that?

21:20 Speaker 3: Yes, Stephen, I'm almost finished here.

21:22 Speaker 8: Yoo-hoo, Laura, we're ready here.

21:26 Speaker 3: Please, Stephen, you're hurting my arm.

21:29 Speaker 11: Is that how you talk to your husband?

21:31 Speaker 3: Please let go. No, please let go. I'll be there soon. May I please go back to work?

21:39 Speaker 5: Of course.

21:41 Speaker 11: Anything for my darling wife.

21:49 Speaker 8: Everything all right, dear?

21:51 Speaker 5: Yes.

21:52 Speaker 8: Well, this will put a smile on that pretty face. It is by unanimous decision... that you should become a full-fledged member of the Red Hat Society.

22:03 Speaker 3: Oh, my.

22:04 Speaker 4: Here you are, my dear.

22:06 Speaker 10: What's this?

22:07 Speaker 9: Why don't you open it up and find out, dear?

22:11 Speaker 3: Such pretty wrapping paper. Oh, my. A hat?

22:19 Speaker 10: A red hat?

22:20 Speaker 7: I picked it out, dear. I hope that it fits.

22:24 Speaker 3: Oh, thank you. Thank you so much.

22:29 Speaker 8: Now, ladies, ladies, we only have one more piece of business to discuss. Who would like to volunteer the arrangement of Stephen Daniel's accident? Rest his soul.

22:59 Speaker 1: Laura Daniels smiles as she puts the coveted red hat onto her head. She smiles again as she sees every hand go up to help her with her little problem. I shall return with a final word. Stephen Daniel's accident happened a week later. As I understand it, he was inside one of the new homes that he was trying to sell when the ceiling collapsed on top of him. crushing him to death. It was a lovely funeral. At least, that is what the widow Dale told me. Rest his soul.

23:59 Speaker 1: Our cast included Annie Mick, Crimson McKenzie, Mark Wheeler, Kristen Burress, Minerva Faith, and Julia Sanders. The entire production was under the direction of Winslow Swan. And now, a preview of our next tale.

24:19 Speaker 4: So, where are you from?

24:22 Speaker 1: Why do you want to know?

24:24 Speaker 3: Oh, I was just trying to make conversation.

24:26 Speaker 1: Do you always pick up hitchhikers?

24:30 Speaker 3: Well, as a general rule, no.

24:34 Speaker 1: Then why did you pick me up?

24:36 Speaker 3: I don't know. Sometimes I get a little voice that tells me to help people. So I do.

24:43 Speaker 9: Maybe you shouldn't listen to that Little voice.

24:48 Speaker 1: Doorway to Nightmare is brought to you in part by Swanage Press. This is your host, inviting you to return with us through the doorway to nightmare for another adventure into the world of your terrifying imagination. Until next time, slumber peacefully. Epilogue. The butler did it.