Haunting's Ectoplasmic Problem | A Supernatural Comedy Fiction Podcast

0:05 Speaker 1: A Doorway to Nightmare special presentation. Written and produced by Winslow Swan and Crimson McKenzie. Featuring William Stafford, Crimson McKenzie, Winslow Swan, Carter Sheriff, and Mark Wheeler.

0:24 Speaker 2: Happy birthday, dear Mrs.

0:28 Speaker 3: Peters.

0:30 Speaker 2: Happy birthday to you.

0:36 Speaker 4: Oh, you too? Stan, I almost thought you forgot.

0:43 Speaker 3: How could I forget? Fred kept reminding me for the last month.

0:48 Speaker 2: I was just trying to help.

0:50 Speaker 3: It's okay, Fred.

0:54 Speaker 4: Thank you, Fred. And thank you to my most wonderful man.

1:02 Speaker 3: If I get that for a singly, wonder what I get for this.

1:08 Speaker 5: Stan? What is it?

1:11 Speaker 4: What is it?

1:12 Speaker 3: Well, open it and find out.

1:19 Speaker 6: No.

1:21 Speaker 4: No way.

1:22 Speaker 7: Oh my.

1:24 Speaker 3: What is it?

1:27 Speaker 5: Stan!

1:28 Speaker 4: How did you find this?

1:30 Speaker 5: But what is it?

1:31 Speaker 3: I just did a web search and found a place that still carried it.

1:36 Speaker 5: Surprised?

1:37 Speaker 4: I've been searching for this for ten years! Since the Halloween anniversary of All Hallows' Eve 13!

1:46 Speaker 5: Thank you so much!

1:50 Speaker 2: Yes, but what is it?

1:53 Speaker 4: Oh, I'm sorry, Fred. It's a perfume I used to wear when Stan and I were dating. They made a special at Halloween called All Hallows Eve 13.

2:04 Speaker 7: It rhymed.

2:05 Speaker 3: That's how I remembered the name. Always drove me wild.

2:10 Speaker 4: Why do you think I wore it?

2:14 Speaker 2: Why don't you use it anymore? I mean, I like the way you smell.

2:18 Speaker 3: The company that made it went out of business. It's quite a rare find.

2:23 Speaker 4: Want me to try it out now?

2:24 Speaker 3: Why don't you go upstairs and get ready? Ready?

2:27 Speaker 2: Are you two going somewhere?

2:29 Speaker 3: I have reservations at that new place on Main Street.

2:34 Speaker 5: Oh, Stan.

2:35 Speaker 4: This is the happiest. I mean, what can I do? I mean.

2:43 Speaker 3: Just get yourself beautiful and we can leave.

2:45 Speaker 2: She doesn't have to work too hard to do that.

2:48 Speaker 3: Don't I know it.

2:49 Speaker 4: Oh, Fred. Thank you.

2:52 Speaker 3: Now, Fred... I know, I know. No parties, no gas.

2:56 Speaker 2: Try not to disturb the neighbors.

2:58 Speaker 3: That's right. I'm not sure when Dot and I will get back.

3:02 Speaker 4: Fred, are you sure that you will be okay?

3:06 Speaker 2: Oh, don't worry about me. Since they've changed the rules, I don't have to hang around you guys anymore.

3:12 Speaker 3: Thank goodness for that.

3:14 Speaker 4: I've got just the dress to wear tonight. Be right back.

3:20 Speaker 3: Now, let's go over this one more time, Fred. Stan, please, don't worry. I just want the house to still be standing when we get back.

3:30 Speaker 2: Nothing is going to happen, I promise.

3:34 Speaker 3: That's what worries me. Besides, I'm going.

3:40 Speaker 2: To fade and get some shut-eye. See you in the morning, you sly old fox.

3:54 Speaker 5: Come here.

3:58 Speaker 4: You handsome man.

4:00 Speaker 3: Easy, Dot. You okay?

4:07 Speaker 4: I think I may have had one too many martinis.

4:12 Speaker 3: Have you had a good birthday?

4:15 Speaker 4: I had an amazing birthday. Does my perfume still drive you wild with passion?

4:25 Speaker 3: Mmm, I forgot how good it really was on you. Come here.

4:29 Speaker 2: Oh, pardon me. I'm sorry.

4:35 Speaker 4: That's okay, friend.

4:38 Speaker 3: At least the house is still in one piece. I just wanted to make sure that.

4:43 Speaker 2: It was you two and not some.

4:47 Speaker 3: Some....

4:50 Speaker 4: Not somewhat, friend.

4:56 Speaker 2: Oh, you know, somebody trying to break.

5:01 Speaker 7: Break.

5:01 Speaker 2: Break....

5:06 Speaker 3: Bread, spit it out already. Trying to break what?

5:11 Speaker 2: Well, I always try to keep an ear out for... Huh? Huh?

5:15 Speaker 7: Huh?

5:16 Speaker 3: Huh?

5:27 Speaker 4: Fred, what was that?

5:30 Speaker 2: I'm sorry about that.

5:31 Speaker 3: Excuse me. Just a little.

5:33 Speaker 2: Fred, what's going on? I... I'm not sure. I'm really sorry.

5:54 Speaker 3: Sorry.

5:58 Speaker 5: Maybe you're catching a cold.

6:12 Speaker 3: And what's with all the sounds?

6:15 Speaker 2: I'm afraid that whenever I sneeze, I sort of lose control.

6:33 Speaker 4: My table! Fred!

6:38 Speaker 3: I'm sorry.

6:39 Speaker 4: Really, I am.

6:40 Speaker 3: Great. Not only sounds, but now you're destroying the house.

6:44 Speaker 2: Maybe I better disappear before.

6:46 Speaker 3: before... before.

6:52 Speaker 4: You!

6:56 Speaker 2: I'm really, really sorry.

6:58 Speaker 4: What do you suppose brought that on?

7:03 Speaker 3: I'm not sure, but I do know that we can't live with that.

7:09 Speaker 4: Maybe I should call control.

7:11 Speaker 3: God, not him again.

7:12 Speaker 4: Do you have any other suggestions? Yes.

7:17 Speaker 3: Let's take a shower and go to bed.

7:19 Speaker 4: But I'm not tired.

7:21 Speaker 3: Neither am I.

7:22 Speaker 4: Oh, you beast, you.

7:36 Speaker 3: Good morning.

7:37 Speaker 4: Good morning, Fred. Any more of the sneezes?

7:43 Speaker 2: Not a one. I can't understand it. I was fine until you two got home.

7:50 Speaker 4: Maybe it was one of those 24-hour colds.

7:53 Speaker 2: Dorothy, ghosts usually don't get colds.

7:57 Speaker 4: First time for everything. Want some breakfast?

8:01 Speaker 2: Um, not very hungry all of a sudden.

8:05 Speaker 4: Fred? Are you okay? You look a little... Well, you always look pale, but... a little more pale than usual.

8:17 Speaker 2: Well, I was fine a moment ago.

8:19 Speaker 3: I don't know what... Sorry? That's it.

8:24 Speaker 2: I'm calling control.

8:55 Speaker 7: What has Fred done now?

8:58 Speaker 4: Now how do you know that is what I'm calling about?

9:01 Speaker 7: Isn't it always?

9:03 Speaker 4: Maybe. I just wanted to see how things were going with you.

9:06 Speaker 7: Oh, come now, Mrs.

9:07 Speaker 2: Peters.

9:09 Speaker 7: You really are not interested in my well-being.

9:12 Speaker 4: Okay, you're right. It is about Fred.

9:15 Speaker 7: Again, what has he done this time?

9:21 Speaker 4: Well, it's not really anything that he has done, but what is happening to him.

9:28 Speaker 7: Would you please just get to the point?

9:32 Speaker 4: Okay, he started sneezing last night, and it's making a mess at the house. Not to mention that I'm running out of excuses to tell the neighbors.

9:41 Speaker 7: Hmm, that is unusual.

9:45 Speaker 4: I thought that maybe he had just caught a cold.

9:48 Speaker 7: That would be a germ, something that he cannot catch since he's dead. There must be another reason.

9:57 Speaker 4: So what can we do?

9:59 Speaker 7: I will send Digger to see if he can help in some way.

10:03 Speaker 4: Does Digger have a license to practice medicine?

10:07 Speaker 7: Well, he has worked on a lot of bodies during his time.

10:13 Speaker 4: Very funny.

10:14 Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah. Was that.

10:27 Speaker 4: Yes, and if Digger doesn't come soon, we may not have a house left.

10:37 Speaker 3: Well, Digger, what's the verdict?

10:39 Speaker 6: I'm not sure, Mr. Peters. You see, ghosts cannot get codes. So we can rule that out.

10:50 Speaker 4: But Fred seems to be getting worse.

10:53 Speaker 3: How could it get any worse?

11:09 Speaker 4: My kitchen!

11:12 Speaker 3: Fred, what did you just sneeze out at me?

11:14 Speaker 6: That. Appears to be ectoplasm.

11:19 Speaker 3: Go snot!

11:21 Speaker 1: Fred!

11:23 Speaker 2: I'm really sorry, Stan.

11:27 Speaker 4: Don't worry, Stan. It does come out.

11:30 Speaker 3: But it's my new suit!

11:33 Speaker 4: Digger, do you have any ideas?

11:35 Speaker 6: Well, has anything changed in the household?

11:40 Speaker 4: Other than whenever Fred sneezes, something else breaks? No, nothing.

11:46 Speaker 6: Let's try something. Mrs. Peters, would you mind leaving the room?

11:54 Speaker 4: Okay, anything to help.

12:03 Speaker 6: Now, Fred, take a deep breath.

12:10 Speaker 3: How do you feel? Wow, a little better.

12:14 Speaker 7: No!

12:15 Speaker 2: A whole lot better.

12:17 Speaker 6: Now, Mr. Peters, if you could leave and tell your wife to come back.

12:25 Speaker 4: I didn't hear anything. You okay, Fred?

12:35 Speaker 2: Why, I've never felt better in all of my.

12:54 Speaker 6: Just as I suspected. Haven't seen a case like this in over a hundred years.

13:01 Speaker 4: What is it?

13:03 Speaker 6: I'm afraid that Fred is allergic.

13:07 Speaker 4: A ghost with an allergy?

13:09 Speaker 6: It does happen sometimes.

13:12 Speaker 2: So what can I possibly be allergic to?

13:16 Speaker 6: Unfortunately, Fred, you are allergic to Dorothy Peters.

13:24 Speaker 7: How long is he going to do that? Oh, Stan.

13:38 Speaker 4: I feel like crying, too.

13:40 Speaker 3: It's okay. We'll figure something out.

13:46 Speaker 2: I've got it all figured out.

13:48 Speaker 5: Fred?

13:50 Speaker 4: What is that on your nose?

13:52 Speaker 2: A clothespin. I just won't breathe.

13:58 Speaker 3: Fred, that is the silliest thing I have ever seen.

14:01 Speaker 2: But look, Stan.

14:04 Speaker 7: See?

14:04 Speaker 2: I can point right here next to.

14:08 Speaker 2: Next to....

14:19 Speaker 3: That does it.

14:20 Speaker 4: Now, Stan... Why.

14:21 Speaker 3: Does he have to blow his ghost snot on me?

14:26 Speaker 7: I'm sorry.

14:26 Speaker 4: I don't mean to... Okay. So, let's think about this logically.

14:33 Speaker 3: Anything to cure the floating disaster.

14:37 Speaker 4: Fred has never... ever had this problem before, right?

14:42 Speaker 2: Not that I recall.

14:44 Speaker 3: Well, you take that stupid clothespin off.

14:47 Speaker 4: Okay, so something changed here that has made Fred allergic.

14:52 Speaker 3: But nothing changed.

14:55 Speaker 4: Oh, yes, it did. Don't you remember? You gave me something on my birthday.

15:02 Speaker 3: You have got to be kidding.

15:06 Speaker 2: Your new perfume? The one that Stan looked for for over a month?

15:11 Speaker 3: That can't be it.

15:13 Speaker 4: Tell you what, let me take a shower and I'll be right back. Fred, you stay here. Fred? Are you here?

15:27 Speaker 3: He was afraid to face you, so he whooshed off.

15:31 Speaker 4: Fred, get back here.

15:33 Speaker 6: I'm afraid to. What if I sneeze again? What if it's not the bird view?

15:40 Speaker 4: Then we will just keep trying until we do find out what is making you sneeze. So come on, don't be afraid.

15:48 Speaker 3: Wait a minute.

15:49 Speaker 5: What is it?

15:49 Speaker 3: I'm going to stand behind you in case he sneezes. Two suits with ghost snot is plenty.

15:57 Speaker 4: I'm sure I'm right. Maybe. Now come on, Fred.

16:07 Speaker 3: Dorothy?

16:09 Speaker 5: Stan?

16:09 Speaker 4: How do you feel?

16:10 Speaker 2: I feel, I feel... Oh no, not again! I was only kidding. I feel great!

16:24 Speaker 4: Good one, Fred.

16:26 Speaker 3: It's not funny!

16:27 Speaker 4: At least we know what caused it. And I don't have to explain anything to the neighbors. Especially nosy Nelly.

16:36 Speaker 2: I can actually breathe again. Well, so to speak.

16:40 Speaker 4: It's okay, Fred. We understand. Now, Stan, we have to get rid of that perfume.

16:49 Speaker 3: Are you insane? That bottle cost me over $ 300 for just one ounce.

16:56 Speaker 4: And your suits cost close to $ 400 to get dry cleaned. Now, here's the bottle. Take it as far away from here as possible. I'm sorry.

17:07 Speaker 3: Oh, come on, Dot. His sneezing wasn't that bad. We can get used to it.

17:13 Speaker 4: Stan, don't open the bottle.

17:16 Speaker 3: Come on, Fred. It was her birthday present after all. You can hold your breath or do something.

17:22 Speaker 7: Woo! Woo!

17:32 Speaker 2: Sorry, Stan.

17:38 Speaker 3: I'll be back in a little bit.

17:40 Speaker 4: Where are you going?

17:41 Speaker 3: First, I'm going to change clothes. Then I'm taking this little bottle and throwing it in the river.

17:54 Speaker 1: You have been listening to A Doorway to Nightmare Special Presentation Written and Produced by by Crimson McKenzie and Winslow Swan. Music by Kevin MacLeod. Featured in the cast, William Stafford as Stan, Crimson McKenzie as Dot, Mark Wheeler as Control, Carter Sheriff as Digger, and Winslow Swan as Fred. Join us next time for the further adventures of Fred, Dot, and Stan in Haunting. This is your announcer, Mick Davis.

18:31 Speaker 3: Epilogue.

18:32 Speaker 1: The butler did it.