The Price of Perfect Bliss | "Happiness" Audio Drama

0:00 Speaker 1: Hi, this is Winslow.

0:01 Speaker 2: This is Crimson.

0:03 Speaker 1: And if you like what we're doing, hit the like button. And if you want to hear more, subscribe. And please share it to all your friends.

0:12 Speaker 2: Everybody, everybody.

0:27 Speaker 3: With this key, you unlock the world to your dreams. What lies beyond could be the doorway to nightmare. Come in. Welcome. I'm your host through the doorway to nightmare.

1:09 Speaker 1: Happiness.

1:10 Speaker 3: Is not something that is ready-made. It comes from your own actions, according to the Dalai Lama. Ah, sweet happiness. It is something that today seems somewhat rare, for what makes one person happy can be a torturous hell for someone else.

1:37 Speaker 4: What would make you happy?

1:38 Speaker 1: You saw my wife. That's my life. I mean, every day.

1:46 Speaker 5: For five years I have lived with that.

1:54 Speaker 1: I'm just so tired.

1:56 Speaker 4: So what would make you happy?

2:00 Speaker 1: To sleep. Just to sleep.

2:04 Speaker 5: And never worry about what might happen when I wake up.

2:13 Speaker 3: Our mystery drama, Happiness, was written especially for Doorway to Nightmare by Winslow Swan and edited by Crimson McKenzie. Our stars include Robert Jackson, Crimson McKenzie, and Winslow Swan. It is sponsored in part by Swanage Press. I'll be back shortly with Act One.

2:36 Speaker 2: Hi, it's Crimson.

2:38 Speaker 1: And Swan.

2:39 Speaker 2: You want to hear some more episodes? Yes.

2:41 Speaker 1: Join our YouTube channel at Doorway to Nightmare.

2:44 Speaker 2: And don't forget to subscribe. Hit that like button and tell all your friends.

3:02 Speaker 3: Film director David C. Hill once said, Happiness is largely a choice, not a right or entitlement. I have met people who live in squalor, but are happy. I have met some who are extremely wealthy, but are very unhappy. So we can say that it is possibly your state of mind that really makes you happy.

3:33 Speaker 2: So, Oliver, I find you at last.

3:36 Speaker 1: Amy, please. It's only one drink. Oh, sure.

3:40 Speaker 2: And who are you meeting?

3:41 Speaker 1: No one. I am meeting no one. I only stopped in for one lousy drink.

3:50 Speaker 2: And you expect me to believe that? Really, Oliver, what do you take me for? A complete fool? If you think for one minute that I'm going to go home... cook your dinner, and wait up until all hours of the night for you to come staggering in?

4:09 Speaker 4: It's only one drink!

4:11 Speaker 2: Don't you yell at me, Oliver Bradley Morris. My parents were right about you.

4:18 Speaker 1: Must we do this here?

4:20 Speaker 2: Oh, I'm sorry. Am I embarrassing you in front of your so-called friends? Maybe one of them will let you sleep it off.

4:31 Speaker 1: I'll be home within the hour, I promise.

4:34 Speaker 2: And we both know how much weight that holds. If you can manage to find the keyhole of the door, heat you up whatever you like.

4:49 Speaker 5: I'm going out! That's my wife.

4:59 Speaker 1: That's my wife.

5:01 Speaker 4: Looks like a very ugly woman.

5:04 Speaker 1: Excuse me?

5:05 Speaker 4: Oh, not a disparaging remark, I assure you. Merely an observation. Her inside does not match her outside. Now, if you don't mind me making another observation, you do not look very happy yourself.

5:19 Speaker 1: It's that obvious, huh, Sherlock?

5:21 Speaker 4: Matthew Smiley, at your service, sir.

5:24 Speaker 1: Ollie.

5:25 Speaker 4: So I gathered from the way that your wife spoke so vehemently.

5:29 Speaker 5: Oh, she opens her mouth the minute she opens her eyes in the morning and doesn't shut it again until she goes to bed.

5:39 Speaker 1: And even then she talks in her sleep.

5:41 Speaker 4: So why did you marry her?

5:42 Speaker 5: I've been asking myself that ever since I said I do. Oh, I don't really know.

5:52 Speaker 1: I suppose there was a time when... Yeah, we were in love.

5:57 Speaker 4: Yes, but were you happy?

6:00 Speaker 1: Good question.

6:01 Speaker 4: So, what would make you happy now?

6:03 Speaker 1: Maybe another drink?

6:04 Speaker 4: That's easy. Bartender, another round.

6:07 Speaker 1: Well, thank you, Mr., um, Smiley?

6:12 Speaker 4: It really is my name. Perhaps it was destiny or providence that I was born into the family.

6:18 Speaker 1: And do you smile all the time?

6:21 Speaker 4: I am only human. No, there are days that the rigors of life tend to catch up to even me. However, I have found that strange and elusive creature known as happiness.

6:32 Speaker 1: So what do you do?

6:34 Speaker 4: Unfortunately, we all still need to make some sort of a living to keep the body healthy, and I am very fond of eating. So, to make my meager ends meet, I have a part-time job.

6:44 Speaker 1: Hmm, what's that? Ha ha ha!

6:46 Speaker 4: I sell hot dogs outside during games at the stadium.

6:49 Speaker 5: Ha ha ha!

6:52 Speaker 1: And that makes you happy?

6:53 Speaker 5: Well, I never go hungry.

6:58 Speaker 4: I do have something else that makes me very happy.

7:02 Speaker 1: Really? And what could that possibly be?

7:06 Speaker 4: Why don't you find out for yourself?

7:09 Speaker 1: Yeah, how would I do that?

7:10 Speaker 4: Here, this is my card.

7:12 Speaker 5: Reverend Smiley. Uh, listen, no offense. I just don't do the religion thing. Ollie.

7:21 Speaker 4: It isn't about religion, but about you. What's inside that makes you happy?

7:26 Speaker 1: No one has that answer.

7:28 Speaker 4: Why don't you come to a meeting?

7:29 Speaker 1: Believe me, that is not what I'm looking for.

7:33 Speaker 4: Then tell me, what would make you happy besides another drink?

7:37 Speaker 1: For real?

7:38 Speaker 4: Yes. What is that one thing that is missing in your life?

7:43 Speaker 1: To be completely honest, sleep.

7:46 Speaker 4: Sleep? I don't under.

7:47 Speaker 5: She never, ever... Let's me get any sleep. She keeps me up practically all night, just griping at me. I go to work and fall asleep there. Do you know I've lost six jobs this year alone? So if you really want to know what would make me happy, I would just like to sleep.

8:13 Speaker 4: Simply sleep?

8:15 Speaker 1: No, no, no. Not just sleep.

8:18 Speaker 5: But knowing that I would never have to worry about waking up at a certain time.

8:24 Speaker 1: I could just sleep.

8:27 Speaker 4: Come to the beating, Ollie. Perhaps you will find the answer to your happiness there.

8:37 Speaker 3: Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so. Perhaps John Seward Mill was on the right track. If you have to ask if you are happy, then perhaps you truly are not. Ollie doesn't seem to be on the right track, but perhaps the Reverend Matthew Smiley can help. You'll be on the right track for Act Two shortly.

9:05 Speaker 2: Have you heard any good books lately? You can! Find Winslow Swan's audiobooks at www.winslowswan.com today. Also on Amazon.

9:28 Speaker 3: It has been a week since Oliver Bradley Morris met the Reverend Matthew Smiley. He has yet to attend a meeting, and Ollie has not seen the happy Reverend since their first drink together.

9:44 Speaker 2: So, going out again? Sure. Don't think about me. Stuck here in this drab house all day, waiting all night for you to finally come home. Usually drunk out of your own mind.

9:59 Speaker 5: I have been here for hours. And this is the first time that you are acknowledging my existence. So yes, I am going out.

10:09 Speaker 2: Don't you get smart with me.

10:11 Speaker 5: Amy, you know that I only have one cocktail when and if I stop by the bar.

10:19 Speaker 1: Oh, sure.

10:20 Speaker 2: Just one drink. Why can't you be a real man for once? I just wish.

10:26 Speaker 1: Wish what, Amy? Do you want me dead?

10:29 Speaker 2: I didn't say that.

10:31 Speaker 1: No, you didn't have to.

10:32 Speaker 2: Who is she?

10:34 Speaker 1: Who?

10:35 Speaker 2: The woman you've been seeing.

10:37 Speaker 5: I can barely stay awake when I'm with you. Do you really think that a mistress would put up with that?

10:43 Speaker 2: You don't fool me, Oliver Bradley Morris. I know that you are seeing someone else, and I want to know who!

10:51 Speaker 1: I'm going out.

10:52 Speaker 4: Fine!

10:53 Speaker 2: Go see your little Jezebel! I won't be awake when you get home.

11:00 Speaker 4: Ollie, great to see you! Glad you came.

11:03 Speaker 1: Uh, yeah, I don't really know about this.

11:06 Speaker 4: Oh, it's like nothing that you have ever seen. Come on in.

11:10 Speaker 1: Well, I mean, what do you do here?

11:12 Speaker 4: Wait and see. Now over there is the coffee. Julie brought some brownies for tonight. And believe me, she makes the best.

11:21 Speaker 1: Oh, I get it now.

11:23 Speaker 5: She makes the special brownies, right? Just to let you know, I don't do this.

11:30 Speaker 4: Oh no, nothing like that. Julie owns a bakery. That's what makes her happy. She came to us a couple of years ago and we helped her find her smile again.

11:40 Speaker 3: Really?

11:41 Speaker 4: We just try and help others, including ourselves, a way to let them be happy.

11:45 Speaker 1: Well, I don't do anything weird either. What do you mean? I mean, none of that, you know, orgy sort of thing.

11:58 Speaker 4: Don't knock it until you try it.

11:59 Speaker 1: Oh, that's it. I'm out.

12:01 Speaker 4: I'm kidding. I'm kidding. No, we do not do anything like that here. I mean, unless that's what makes you happy. I'm sure we have some eligible and willing women here. Unless you prefer.

12:15 Speaker 1: Forget it. I'm good.

12:16 Speaker 4: But are you re.

12:18 Speaker 3: What?

12:19 Speaker 4: I mean, are you really good?

12:21 Speaker 5: Add another row with my wife, if that's what you mean. You know, maybe I should ask one of your eligible young ladies here.

12:33 Speaker 1: Hell, Amy is thinking that way anyway.

12:36 Speaker 4: Ollie, I am here to tell you that is not the answer. Yeah?

12:40 Speaker 3: Then what is?

12:41 Speaker 4: Why don't you find a seat, stick around for a bit, and perhaps you will discover the answer on your own.

13:03 Speaker 2: Is that you?

13:04 Speaker 5: Yes, yes, my beloved and desired loving husband.

13:10 Speaker 1: Oh, did you wait up for me? Oh, such a wonderful wife.

13:17 Speaker 2: What are you doing?

13:19 Speaker 1: I'm giving my wife a kiss. Well, stop it.

13:23 Speaker 2: What's got into you? Vodka or scotch?

13:28 Speaker 1: Happiness!

13:30 Speaker 2: Must be one heck of a woman.

13:32 Speaker 1: Yes, but she doesn't cook. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I love you. Amy, I swear, I'm not seeing anyone. I have found something... something wonderful.

13:47 Speaker 2: Your blankets and pillow are on the couch.

13:54 Speaker 1: Oliver?

13:55 Speaker 2: Have you given this.

13:58 Speaker 1: Reverend?

13:59 Speaker 2: What's his name? Any money?

14:01 Speaker 1: Well, no, not yet.

14:03 Speaker 2: Yet? You had better not. Sounds like some sort of a cult to me.

14:08 Speaker 1: They didn't brainwash me. They just... listen.

14:15 Speaker 2: As if you had anything interesting to say. I bet he isn't even a real reverend. You've been had. You're a bigger fool than I ever took you for.

14:31 Speaker 5: He wants you to come, too. He really wants to meet you, and I think that you should come.

14:37 Speaker 2: I'm perfectly happy right here in my own home.

14:44 Speaker 1: Are you, Amy? Are you really happy?

14:50 Speaker 3: An interesting question, and one which I think that is asked of everyone at one time. But can a person be truly happy? Perhaps we will find out when I return with Act 3.

15:06 Speaker 1: If you're enjoying these stories, come over to our YouTube.

15:10 Speaker 6: Channel, Doorway to Nightmare, where we add a few pics to color your imagination.

15:17 Speaker 2: See the faces behind the voices, too. Come on, you know you want to.

15:35 Speaker 3: Gandhi once said that happiness is what you think, what you say, and what you do are all in perfect harmony. But how often does perfect harmony happen? From the way that Ollie was talking to his wife, Amy, that harmony has already happened for him.

16:00 Speaker 2: Is this where I meet her?

16:03 Speaker 5: Who?

16:03 Speaker 2: Your girlfriend, your lover, whatever the heck you call her.

16:09 Speaker 1: You are going to meet a lot of happy people, I promise.

16:13 Speaker 2: I still say this is some sort of a cult.

16:16 Speaker 1: Would a cult let me leave?

16:18 Speaker 2: If it meant getting other recruits, yeah.

16:22 Speaker 1: It's not a cult, I promise.

16:25 Speaker 2: You keep saying that. I promise. You promised to fix the dryer, and yet I'm still hanging out clothes. You promised to take me somewhere exotic. Has that happened? The most exotic place we have been is to the Chinese buffet.

16:43 Speaker 1: All of that is going to change. I.

16:46 Speaker 2: Please don't say it again, Oliver. I think if I hear you say it, I may just jump out of the car.

16:52 Speaker 7: Ollie!

16:58 Speaker 4: And this must be the lovely Amy.

17:01 Speaker 2: I was right. Completely insane. If you think that we're giving you any money... Please, Amy.

17:09 Speaker 1: That's not what this is about.

17:11 Speaker 4: Of course not. We just want everyone to be happy.

17:15 Speaker 2: You are completely mental.

17:17 Speaker 1: People.

17:19 Speaker 2: Regular people, like my worthless husband, are not meant to be happy.

17:25 Speaker 4: Oh, but you would be surprised, Amy, if I may call you that.

17:29 Speaker 2: Is that her?

17:30 Speaker 1: Who are you looking at?

17:33 Speaker 2: The voluptuous woman that's swaying her hips into the doorway. Who is she, Oliver?

17:38 Speaker 4: Oh, that's Julie. She's prepared a wonderful buffet.

17:42 Speaker 2: Doesn't look like your type, Oliver. Young, beautiful, way... Out of your league.

17:50 Speaker 1: I'm not.

17:51 Speaker 2: Oh, deny it all you want. I know you too well.

17:55 Speaker 4: Amy, what would make you happy?

17:57 Speaker 2: Getting out of here would be a start.

18:00 Speaker 4: Fine, you are free to leave, if that would truly make you happy.

18:04 Speaker 2: What are you talking about?

18:06 Speaker 4: Ollie and I, as well as the rest of the group, already know what would make Oliver happy. I'm curious, what would really make you happy?

18:16 Speaker 2: No one has ever asked me.

18:18 Speaker 4: I'm asking now, what is the one thing, deep down, that would make you truly happy?

18:26 Speaker 2: To never see Oliver Bradley Morris ever again.

18:31 Speaker 4: Ollie, are you ready? Are you truly ready to be happy?

18:37 Speaker 1: Oh, yes, Reverend.

18:40 Speaker 5: I am truly ready to finally be happy.

18:47 Speaker 1: Wait!

18:48 Speaker 5: What are you doing?

18:49 Speaker 2: Oh my god! You killed him! You killed him!

18:58 Speaker 4: We simply gave him what he wanted to be happy. By being dead? He wanted to sleep to never have to worry about waking up.

19:06 Speaker 3: You.

19:07 Speaker 1: you.

19:08 Speaker 2: you really are insane!

19:10 Speaker 4: But now are you happy? You will never, ever have to see Oliver again! Doesn't that make you... happy?

19:33 Speaker 3: The Reverend Matthew Smiley puts the gun away. The body of Oliver Bradley Morris is taken out, and Amy, still stunned and in shock, can only look at the blood of her husband on the floor. I'll be back shortly.

19:57 Speaker 1: If you're enjoying these stories, come over to our YouTube channel.

20:01 Speaker 6: Doorway to Nightmare, where we add a few pics to color your imagination.

20:08 Speaker 2: See the faces behind the voices, too. Come on, you know you wanna.

20:25 Speaker 3: Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness. And the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. I believe that Carl Young had something there, and I wonder if anyone can be truly happy. Our cast included Robert Jackson, Crimson McKenzie, and Winslow Swan. The story was edited by Crimson McKenzie, and the entire production was under the direction of Winslow Swan.

21:04 Speaker 3: And now, a preview of our next tale.

21:09 Speaker 7: Oh, I must have fallen asleep at my desk.

21:12 Speaker 2: No, Mr. Ward, you didn't fall asleep.

21:15 Speaker 1: You are wide awake. Ms.

21:16 Speaker 7: Malone, I'm so sorry for not getting those reports to you, but I promise.

21:21 Speaker 2: Will you shut up, Henry? Look at your hand.

21:24 Speaker 4: Don't you see?

21:24 Speaker 3: Huh?

21:26 Speaker 7: What's this gun doing in my hand?

21:29 Speaker 2: Look on the floor, stupid.

21:31 Speaker 7: That's... that's... Oh, God, what have I done?

21:36 Speaker 2: Quite obviously, you have killed me.

21:40 Speaker 3: Doorway to Nightmare is brought to you in part by Swanage Press. This is your host, inviting you to return with us through the doorway to nightmare for another adventure into the world of your terrifying imagination. Until next time, slumber peacefully. Epilogue. The butler did it.